Edwardsville Spectator

SMALL TALK.

From Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine,

General talk is indispensable at a rout,
But more so at a little coterie.
Where friends, in number eight or there-
abouts,
Meet to enjoy loquacity and tea;
Small talk were abolished, I've my doubts
If ladies would survive to fifty-three?
Nor shall the stigma, ladies, fall on you,
Men love a little bit of small talk too.
What changes there would be, if no tongues
ran,
Except in sober senses and conversation;
There's many a communicative man
Would take to silence and cogitation;
Twould stop old maids (if aught's that earthly
can)
And cut the thread of many an oration:
Old bachelors would dawdle through the day.
And go in a very hum drum way.
What would become of those who when at
prayers,
Lean down their heads and whisper in their
pews?
Those at play who give themselves such airs,
Careful each celebrated speech to lose?
How would the poor man suffer, who prepares
For small snug parties, which he can't refuse.
What would become of all the gay pursuits,
If all gay people suddenly turn'd mutes?
Partners at balls would look extremely blue,
Whilst waiting for their turn to point the toe;
Youth's tete-a-tete would scarce know what to
do,
Over their juice of grape, or juice of sloe;
Two people in a chaise might travel through
England and Wales and they in fact might
go
Over the continent, and all the way
Be confidential once or twice a day.
Lovers would think it very hard,
If sober senses they condemned to speak;
Husbands and wives a voice would seldom hear,
Unless it happened to be washing week;
The language of the eyes, I think, 'tis clear
Old married people very seldom seek.
(Couples oft disagree, I'm told)-but this
Is just by way of parenthesis.
How very peaceable we should be then,
None would have words. e'en bullies would
be dumb;
How chang'd would be the busy hum of men,
The fame of certain wits would prove a hum;
Tattlers deprived of speech, would seize a pen;
They are a nuisance not to be o'ercome;
Bchemes the credulous no more would balk,
For schemes would very rarely end in talk.
One thing assuredly would pass away,
One ever useful, ever sweet resource,
Which, when good folks are puzzled what to
say,
Gives the discussion piquancy and force;
It keeps both male and female tongues in play
Till male and female voices become hoarse.
Scandal, I mean—when sense is in repute,
The many tongues of scandal must be mute.