The Davenport Gazette

[For the Gazette.]

DEMOCRATIC MASS MEETING.
The Crack Singer and Explosive Orator.

Mr. Editor:--Having heard whereabouts the "Democratic Mass Meeting" was to be held, and being desirous to obtain all the facts, I possibly could from the "Democratic" heroes, who were, and are now thundering forth the principles of the past administration, with a view to elect their favorite candidate, Lewis Cass, to the chief office in the Union: I left my home and arrived at Davenport just in time to listen to the astounding expositions and flattering commentaries of Mr. Clark, District Elector of Dubuque county, and who was the first speaker on the floor. But I was not only disappointed in the speaker, but was highly pleased--for the interest of the Whig cause--with the manner he eulogized many a staunch Whig--for instance, Clay, Webster and Gen. Harrison. Indeed, he did say Gen. Taylor was an honest man--this was well--in truth thus far he was quite complimentary. But alas! like Caesar, he too soon "crossed the Rubicon," for "turning a short corner" he made, not a salutary but a ludicrous blunder, when he declared in a voice, not quite as loud as a Buena Vista cannon that Gen. Taylor "was a man without principles."

Undoubtedly Mr. Clark had forgotten the noise and confusion which pervaded the cogitations of Gen. Cass at Cleveland. But Clark's conscience plainly told him, he had got into the wrong box, for when he touched upon the Bank, Tariff, Harbor Bill and the Wilmot Proviso, he smilingly trotted off into a paradise of amusing anecdotes, purposely to excite the merriment of his audience, which was instantly and loudly complied with by the Locofoco part of his auditory, which was not innumerable.-- But the Elector's ideality began to languish, hence he strove to make one more tremendous effort, whereupon he very gracefully got his argument "into a nut shell" by illustrating that good old electric anecdote of Dr. Franklin whereby the Dr.'s wife having been charged with the electric fluid knocked down an invited guest, who attempting to kiss her. This anecdote is as notorious as a school boy's A B C, and I trust will prove a salutary lesson to the many Whigs who listened to Mr. Clark, which will ever warn them against the knock down thunder of Locofocoism.

Mr. Clark having closed, Judge Williams, of Muscatine county, took the floor, and as a preliminary sung a delightful siren song, which caused the "organ of tickleology" to shake--he then addressed the house by saying "he was a crack singer." the merit of which no doubt is unanimously accredited him. But if the Judge had said, that he was a crack speaker, he would have exactly "hit the nail on the head." for such a cracked speech was never before made in Scott County Court House, and for the welfare of the "Democratic" party, such a speech ought never again to have birth there. The whole speech was nothing, but a heterogeneous tissue of misrepresentations, spiced up with powerful gestures and circumlocutions and salted with a multiplicity of the driest anecdotes that ever fell from a public speaker! Of a truth the Judge must have held his audience in rather low estimation, and considered himself addressing a squad of ignoramuses. But aside from the Judge's previous abilities he must have been extremely weak in spirit as well as hard pressed for arguments, to resort to that "stooping to conquer" by dwelling at length upon the mere "assertion" that the Whigs have assumed numerous names during the existence of our Federal Government, and also by popping John Tyler's administration into the eyes of the Whigs at this late day.

But the Judge's brilliant intellect did not stop here,--he must attempt to cram down the throats of every Foreigner the foolish idea, that the Whig party is opposed to a Republic, and in favor of a Monarchical form of Government! Has the Judge no better material for argument than such trash? What has such items to do with the great political questions of the day? Nothing. It is all nonsense--a mere excuse to dodge the points at issue.

But the Judge eulogized and extolled Mr. Cass to the very pinnacle of fame, said Cass had suffered all the hardships of a frontier life! that he had lived in a log cabin, which had leather hinges to the door and wooden latches with leather strings to open them: furthermore, that Cass has been in office ever since he was 21 years old.-- Well, so far, good. But the Judge did not tell us, that Gen. Cass lived in the best mansion now in Detroit--he did not tell us that Gen. Cass had feathered his nest with over $50,000 extra pay from Government. No, not he, but let these items remain untouched as a wise dog would a hot potato.

But the Judge like his predecessor must get his argument also into a nut shell, whereupon he gymnastically gave birth to a jackass anecdote, and which was he supposed, a death blow to Whiggery! But the conclusion of the whole matter is, that Old Zack will with a little of "Captain Bragg's grape" demolish all difficulties and teach the Judge that he is a fit subject to represent the principles of a C-ass.

O. N. GUARD