National Gazette

"Men of Glass, throw no Stones."

"Ridiculum acri
Fortius et melius plerumque ecat res."

Mr. Freneau,

As an admirer of every valuable antique, I leave you to judge of the pleasure I received by the perusal of the precious and authentic price current of Roman Catholic indulgences, which you printed in your paper of this day. I doubt not, many of your readers read it with pleasure equal to mine. Such a delicious morceau ought to be printed in letters of gold, to show how much Protestants have lost by their desertion of the scarlet whore of Babylon with whom so much liberality prevailed, as to allow such perfect freedom in morals. I am happy to be able to favour the world with a similar price current, published by a Protestant synod in Germany, anno 1589. It is to be found in the third edition of the 55th volume of their decrees, page 4515, which is now in the Library of Mynheer Vanderdunderblufce, at Goshen, where the curious may satisfy themselves on the subject. I am astonished it has so long escaped observation, and hope that whenever the Popish one appears in future, this one, equally genuine, may accompany it, to show that other sects have been as kind as mother Babylon.

LIST of FINES.
For inventing any lies, however abominable or atrocious, to blacken the Papists, id.
For going into a Popish church, except to burn it, or to break some of its idolatrous ornaments, £.60
For killing a Popish priest, 2d.
For leaving mass, £.90
For robbing a Popish church, id.
For marrying a Papist, £.10
For letting fire to a Popish church, 2d. But if the Congregation are burned in it, 2
22
For poisoning a Popish king, 2d.
For publishing Popish books, £.100
For having images in one's house, £.20
For murdering any number of Monks or Friars, under one hundred, 6d.
Above 100, 8d.
For eating pies at Christmas, or fasting in Lent, £.80
For using the sign of the cross, £.40.
To this List of Fines is added the following Indulgence.
For ravishing one or more Nuns, killing the Pope or any number of Bishops not less than 12, a plenary indulgence to go off to Heaven on full gallop.

Decret. tom. 55. p. 4515.

I hope your correspondent, who favoured you with the Pope's price current, will pay the same degree of implicit credit, to mine, that I have always done to his. This, at least, I am entitled to from him. And should any other of your readers be so unpolite as to call my veracity in question, and demand proofs, I shall only request him to set me the example. Produce the proofs of the one, and I shall prove the other.

ZWINGLIUS.