Gazette Of The United States

FROM THE NATIONAL GAZETTE.

O D E.

[Note well—the following is to be sung or said, as occasion may require.]

IN THE day we ATTEMPTED THE NATION GAZETTE,
Pompoto's dull printer does nothing but fret;
Now preaching
And screeching,
Then nibbling
And scribbling,
Remarking
And barking,
Repining
And whining,
And still in a pet
From morning till night with the Nation's Gazette.

Instead of whole columns, our page to abuse,
Your readers would rather be treated with news;
While wars are a-brewing
And kingdoms undoing,
While monarchs are falling
And princesses qualling,
While France is reforming
And Irishmen storming—
In a glare of such splendour, what nonsense to fret
At so humble a thing as—the Nation's Gazette!

No favours we ask'd from your friends in the east;
On your wretched soup-meagre I left them to feast;
So many base lies you have sent them in print,
That scarcely a man at our paper will squint:
And now you beg'n
With a grunt and a grin.
With the bray of an ass,
And a visage of brass.
With a quill in your hand, and a lie in your mouth,
To play the same trick on the men of the south

One National Paper, you think, is enough
To flatter and lie, to palaver and puff;
To preach up in favor of monarchs and titles,
And garters, and ribbons, to prey on our vitals:
Who knows but our Congress will give it in fee,
And make Mr. Fenno the grand patentee!

Then take to your scrapers
Other national papers—
No rogue shall go scot-free,
And the NEWSPAPER-TAX
Shall be puff'd to the skies
As a measure most wise—
So a spaniel, when master is angry and kicks it,
Sneaks up to his shoe, and submissively licks it.

July 26.