The New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser

DIALOGUE between the Devil, and George III, Tyrant of Britain ;--and Bute, Mansfield, North, Germaine, Sandwich, and a Bishop.

Devil. What news so fierce, George?

By our hour to hear something glorious from the brave Cornwallis.--O there's North and Germaine coming upon the trot : they've good news, I know, by their speed..--Well. North., what tidings ?

North. I have nothing authentic : but there are evil reports respecting Lord Cornwallis.

George. I am not to be hum-bugg'd by the rebel lies - its only the fore-runner of victory.--Well, Germaine, what news have you ?

Germaine. I have this moment received a packet from Sir Henry Clinton. which confirms all the melancholy reports from America.

George. What -! is it possible that Lord Cornwallis, with the flower of all my veterans, is fallen a prey to rebels !

Mansfield. I come to condole with your Majesty. upon one of the most melancholy events that ever wrung tears from royal eyes---and I could mingle my heart's blood with my tears, if it might lessen the affliction which now fills your royal bosom with anguish!

Sandwich. No one can feel more on this occasion than myself; but I have done every thing for the good of the service ; and I feel every thing which loyalty to the best of kings can inspire!

Bute. I beg leave, with duty and gratitude, to mingle my tears with your Majesty's, on this direful occasion.

[North to Germaine, aside. The king is sullen as the devil--look at his eyes, they roll like two fire-balls--he'll break out like thunder presently--he grates his teeth like the devil biting steel bars to let Tories out of prison.]

George. Oh !-Oh!--Oh!--Vengeance! Vengeance!

Devil. George, and be damn'd to ye, where are ye? Cornwallis is a prisoner---his whole army-- an immensity of stores, and ships, are all in the hands of the French and rebels.--O ye mongrel bastard, George, you'll turn out another bull headed cur like Charles Ist. I have been trying one hundred and fifty years to rule a tyrant out of the breed ; but ye are a sap headed generation, fit only for backlogs in Tophet. and for mud boats in the Stygian lake.

George. May curses, in whirlwinds, blast my ministers and commanders !.--Attend here. North and Germaine -What ! Is the nation all going to the devil in a French wheel barrow, and the rebels to reign triumph over us?

North. It is not in human wisdom always to foresee or guard against misfortune. Every thing has been done by your Majesty, and by your Ministers, that we could dictate : and your commanders must answer for their conduct.

George. Aye, you'll all excuse yourselves; but I'll be cursed if I don't make a button of one of your heads and staff. is the rest of ye, unless ye retrieve my affairs. --summon a privy council instantly; call all the Lords and Bishops who have advised to prosecute the war against America.

Bute. I beg leave to inform your Majesty, the privy council is assembled, and waits your royal pleasure.

George. Let them attend me immediately. I am betrayed by your council ; by your council I am now suffering the greatest calamity that can wound the heart of a king.

Bute. Your Majesty will remember that the plan for enslaving America, was ever dear, to your royal breast and the offspring of your own heart.

George. Remember it is one of the wise maxims in English politics, " a king can do no wrong.".The plan was good, but ye have murdered it by your blunders in the execution.-the fault lies with ye, and ye shall bear it--and I'll give ye all up a sacrifice to appease the rage of the people.

Mansfield. I hope your Majesty will recollect my long and faithful services ; I have wrested the law into all shapes and forms, to answer royal purposes. And-.

George. Tell me no more of your services. I have been deceived and ruin'd by the advice of my ministers and council-- pox take them all -.It makes my blood curdle in my veins to think of it ! America is lost forever and all owing to my council ministers if I had raked hell, and kindled the devil, I could not have found a worse set.

Devil. Sirrah ! I say I --I don't allow you to use my name by way of reproach to your rascally ministers

George. Your highness will excuse what is said in the height of passion. I am all rage and vengeance-my vitals burn like tinder--- I could swear fast enough to carry a windmill around one this moment,all my ministers and council-- Now a bad do you say to the American war, ye wrong headed Scotch bastards :

Devil. Hold ! hold ! George : come, I'll be moderator, and see that every one has fair play ; ye are all my servants, and every one shall speak freely in his own cause.

Bute. I thank your Highness for this liberty, as we have much to offer in our justification---our king has never been entirely governed by our advice ; his mulish temper was such while a boy, that I had rather borne the misfortunes of Job, than to have been his tutor ; and as he grew in years he grew in obstinacy !

George. You lie! ye old plaid stocking'd whore-bird...I'll---

Devil. Silence! George, don't you interrupt my old servant.

Bute. And when we gave him the best counsel, he'd often follow the worst ; I often told him...

George. I won't bear an insult from that Highland-er,

I'll..-

Devil. Silence ! Tom Firetongs, take George by the nose and give the scoundrel a twist.

Bute, I told him his measures were inadequate to the purpose; but when once he gets wrong, no one can right him-

Germaine. I can witness to the truth of what my Lord Bute hath declared. Had our council been always duly regarded .-.

George. What ! dares the Minden coward to rise ?

Devil. Here l Triphammer, make a tongue ceffor George. instantly ; rivit it on red hot ; I'n oe it we can't keep that fellow's tongue still.

North, I beg leave to speak one word : It is notor- ious where the fault lies, but it is vain to waste time in criminalion ; we must now consult safety. I hope , the ministers of the crown would withdraw with me a few minutes

[Aside. North. Ye all know the maxim, " a king can do no wrong." and although it is the quint essence of nonsense, yet the wise people of Britain hold it as sacred I whenever the king will give up his ministers to the rage of the people, they will absolve the criminal. and cry him up for the best of kings ; .- therefore. we must take him off before he makes a sa- crifice of us Let us give the duke a dose of arsenic. and let him go off with the dry belly-ache,& be pox'd to him.

Sandwich This plan will do, and nothing else for the sullen dog can never be brought to good humour and if he lives he'll play fury with us.

Bishop. 'Tis the only plan, and I'll read the funeral Service and give thanks heartily that he is taken, out of this evil world.

Germaine. I like it much : for the joy which a new king will diffuse, will allay the present tumult about America ; every one will by paying his addresses 'o the new king, and no one will care who has got the old one---we will retire from the helm and live in domestic peace---I beg that this motion may be put to vote-.All hands are up ..it passes nem con.-- Let one of the family physicians prepare the dose - ]

North. Ever animated with the most ardent affec- tion to the best of kings. I feel the pangs of loyalty whenever his Majesty meets with any misfortune I wish not to criminate any one : but, as I said before, it is notorious where the fault lies : his Majesty's commanders, by sea end land, have trifled away the opportunities that offered for defeating the French. and subduing the rebels. I should be happy to hear his Majesty express his royal sentiments on this great occasion.

George. North you are an honest fellow, and your re- marks are just ; but in our infernal situation. how can we make peace ? A peace we must have. for de- struction gapes to receive us I

North, to Germaine, aside. I'll flatter the king 'till the poison is ready, and then we'll jerk him out of the world.]

North. If your Majesty will be graciously pleased to signify the terms on which you would treat for peace your Majesty's Ministers will lose no time in pursuing your royal wishes.

George. What is the first step we ought to take. North, in your opinion, to obtain an honorable peace?

North. May it please your Majesty. I conceive that we must now endeavor to gain the favour of Ameri- ca ; and as there is an American Plenipotentiary not far distant. I humbly conceive it might be proper to consult him, and feel his pulse

George. Invite the American to meet us in council to-morrow.