Bill Barlow's Budget

CHIT-CHAT.
Everything in General and Nothing in Particular.

You've all heard the story about the preacher and his nail-keg without top or bottom; how he fired a sermon at the brethren and then dropped the manuscript thereof into the keg until it was full, and how, thereafter, he turned the keg over and in this manner gave his congregation a second, third, fourth etc. dose of the same medicine instead of taking the trouble to write new prescriptions. I once thought that this tale was some idle newspaper man's "joke;" but I've evidence enough before me; as I write, to convince even the most arrant doubter as to its truthfulness. The evidence that I desire to produce is taken from my file of the Douglas Republican, a journal of undoubted veracity, and-as I learn from its advertising columns. "Unexcelled in enterprise, entertaining and spicy, and abreast of the times in everything that goes to make a complete newspaper." The Republican be it known, uses "stereotype plates" as well as a "patent inside" -which fact in itself does not wholly agree with its own assertion that it is "unexcelled in enterprise," for it pays less than half as much for plates as it would cost to set the type in its own office. Still, lots of little country papers use these plates, so that this, in itself, is not a serious crime--even though it is evidence of lack of enterprise; but a careful perusal of my friend Dilworth's files disclose the fact that he, too, has a nail-keg, and that he has turned it over. In his issue of December 22nd I find a very interesting "plate" article headed "How the Southern Tortoise Burrows;" singularly enough, it appears again in the issue of February 16th. The Republican of December 22nd contained a two column article headed "A Wonderful Shot," and it is reproduced in the issue of February 16th. Another headed "Winged Warriors," of a column, will be found in the issues of December 29th and February 16th. A three-quarter column headed "Bob Burdette's Humor," published first on January 12th, seems to have struck Brother Dilworth as a especially funny thing for he publishes it again in his issue of February 23d, and the same is true of an article bearing the ghastly title of "Beheading a Corpse," which is found in the same dates. "The Production of Jute" appears in the issues of January 12th and January 26th. A snake story headed "The Fer De Lance," published first on January 19th, is reproduced in the issue of February 23d, and "The Wheat Supply" likewise appears on the same dates. "A Story-Teller Squelched" is found in the issue of January 26th, and again in the Republican of February 23d, and an article headed "The Northwest Mounted Police" grins at me from the pages of February 2nd and February 23d. It is quite possible that I've not enumerated half of the "doubled" plates to be found in his files to date; but enough are herein mentioned to prove that Mr. Dilworth has reproduced some ten or fifteen columns of matter from his own paper-either as a measure of economy, because he was too tired to set up type enough to take their place, or because he has been laboring, all along, under a misapprehension as to the meaning of the word "enterprise." I leave it to the reader to form his own conclusions-suggesting to my friend Dilworth, quite sub rosa, you know, that he should either blow in seventy-five cents or a dollar on some new "plates," set a little more type and publish more original matter, or eliminate from his advertisement those euphonious-but evidently meaningless-phrases such as: "Unexcelled in Enterprise or in Facilities for obtaining News;" "Leading Paper of Central Wyoming;" "Entertaining and Spicy:" "Abreast of the Times:" "Complete Newspaper," and all that sort of rot.