Jenks's Portland Gazette

"Their praise is censure, and their censure, praise."
AN elaborate reply to the farrago of ignorance, folly and billingsgate, in the last Trumpet, might justly be considered as degrading to myself, and insulting to my readers. I shall therefore notice it only as the disordered effusion of two disappointed knaves. Tho' at the same time I cannot avoid smiling to find that these wiseacres have so completely burlesqued and ridiculed themselves, as to render any thing from me almost unnecessary. However, as entire silence would appear like tamely yielding to their insinuations, and in some measure acknowledging them true, it seems requisite to say a few words. But, to expose the inconsistencies and blunders of their unanswerable production, would be to repeat every word of it; and to exhibit its falsehoods would require a contradiction of every assertion, save only the acknowledgment of their bull! They have the audacity to charge me with an attempt to draw them into a newspaper war; but mark! at the same time they declare that I have scratched up their "rod which has been lying in pickle!"—And lo! the "razor!" most modest Shavers! they had better use this instrument all their days than profane the sacred use of the pen—
Again—the origin of Cat's-paw—ridiculous slander!
There cannot be a stronger proof that
Slander, that worst of poisons, ever finds
"An easy entrance to ignoble minds."
A word more remains, to be said of these poltroon blockheads, in which I shall treat them with as little ceremony as their ungentlemanlike conduct deserves.
They have twice suggested "flagellation" and the "Cow-skin"—Bullying dastards! although their thick skulls would have protected them from injury, yet they have preferred publishing their own infamy and falsehood, and continue objects for the finger of scorn!
Finding these fellows thus contemptible, I shall hereafter use them only by way of simile when speaking of any thing ridiculous or worthless—and this I shall do, equally regardless of their threats or their laboured columns of nonsense.