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Poem
September 9, 1793
The Patowmac Guardian, And Berkeley Advertiser
Martinsburg, Shepherdstown, Berkeley County, Jefferson County, West Virginia
What is this article about?
Satirical epilogue mocking professionals like clergy, doctors, and lawyers who fail to grow rich, while praising the ease of wealth accumulation as a country banker through issuing notes and exploiting public confidence.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
EPILOGUE to How To Grow Rich,
Spoken in the Character of a Country Banker.
How to grow Rich, and roll in sterling pelf,
Is known to every wretched, sordid elf--
How to grow poor, and act a lib'ral part,
Is known to ev'ry grateful, gen'rous heart,--
But, moralizing done, I'm all alive,
And mean to prove how easy 'tis to thrive.
Not from a College, where the Sprig divine,
With oft and tender cranium, just like mine,
Who flies to Lambeth for a Parish cure,
Gets forty pounds per annum at the door--
He can't grow Rich! nor swell like Father Paul,
Who bows to Baal, and obtains a stall.
The spruce Physician of these modern days,
Who reads Hippocrates, romances, plays:
That sports his gig. and travels thro' the streets
Bowing to every simpleton he meets--
He'll not grow rich! till fortune lends a name--
That, once obtain'd. proclaims his lasting fame,
Look to the Lawyer, with his gown and wig,
Lounging the Hall--a true pedantic prig!--
Once in a session, for a petty thief,
May, by some cousin, get a single brief--
He can't grow rich! amid the bothering throng,
Whose head is just as thick as it is long.
How to grow Rich! I'll tell Misfortune's son--
Commence a Country Banker, and 'tis done.
Who'd rest contented as a trading Cit,
With little business, and as little wit;
Toiling from morn till night, yet never found
For ten per cent. his daily labour crown'd!
Not so; my friends, I sold my stock at prime,
And dubb'd myself a banker--just in time.
Five bosom friends made up our mighty firm--
The public knew they wou'd not hurt a worm:--
Thus arm'd by confidence, we bought a house,
And trapt the miser, as we trapt a mouse.
Scales counter, copper-plate, and paper,
Was all our stock--except a waxen taper;
Our notes we issued thro' the wealthy county,
And every trade-financier sought the pleasant bounty;
Each speculator was not over nice,
But bought estates at any given price;
The bank of England sought our speedy ruin,
For while they malted only, we were brewing!
A Country Banker must his coffers fill,
And add fresh sacks to his increasing mill.
We take in gold at three per cent. 'tis true,
Discount for Christian, Infidel and Jew :--
If we make fifty, 'tis our safe sheet-anchor--
How to grow rich ! --commence a Country Banker.
Spoken in the Character of a Country Banker.
How to grow Rich, and roll in sterling pelf,
Is known to every wretched, sordid elf--
How to grow poor, and act a lib'ral part,
Is known to ev'ry grateful, gen'rous heart,--
But, moralizing done, I'm all alive,
And mean to prove how easy 'tis to thrive.
Not from a College, where the Sprig divine,
With oft and tender cranium, just like mine,
Who flies to Lambeth for a Parish cure,
Gets forty pounds per annum at the door--
He can't grow Rich! nor swell like Father Paul,
Who bows to Baal, and obtains a stall.
The spruce Physician of these modern days,
Who reads Hippocrates, romances, plays:
That sports his gig. and travels thro' the streets
Bowing to every simpleton he meets--
He'll not grow rich! till fortune lends a name--
That, once obtain'd. proclaims his lasting fame,
Look to the Lawyer, with his gown and wig,
Lounging the Hall--a true pedantic prig!--
Once in a session, for a petty thief,
May, by some cousin, get a single brief--
He can't grow rich! amid the bothering throng,
Whose head is just as thick as it is long.
How to grow Rich! I'll tell Misfortune's son--
Commence a Country Banker, and 'tis done.
Who'd rest contented as a trading Cit,
With little business, and as little wit;
Toiling from morn till night, yet never found
For ten per cent. his daily labour crown'd!
Not so; my friends, I sold my stock at prime,
And dubb'd myself a banker--just in time.
Five bosom friends made up our mighty firm--
The public knew they wou'd not hurt a worm:--
Thus arm'd by confidence, we bought a house,
And trapt the miser, as we trapt a mouse.
Scales counter, copper-plate, and paper,
Was all our stock--except a waxen taper;
Our notes we issued thro' the wealthy county,
And every trade-financier sought the pleasant bounty;
Each speculator was not over nice,
But bought estates at any given price;
The bank of England sought our speedy ruin,
For while they malted only, we were brewing!
A Country Banker must his coffers fill,
And add fresh sacks to his increasing mill.
We take in gold at three per cent. 'tis true,
Discount for Christian, Infidel and Jew :--
If we make fifty, 'tis our safe sheet-anchor--
How to grow rich ! --commence a Country Banker.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
What themes does it cover?
Commerce Trade
Satire Society
What keywords are associated?
Country Banker
Growing Rich
Satire Professions
Banking Scheme
Poem Details
Title
Epilogue To How To Grow Rich
Subject
Spoken In The Character Of A Country Banker
Form / Style
Rhymed Couplets
Key Lines
How To Grow Rich! I'll Tell Misfortune's Son
Commence A Country Banker, And 'Tis Done.
How To Grow Rich ! Commence A Country Banker.