Bedford Inquirer

PARSON BROWNLOW (W)HOOPING.—Foremost among clergymen who are not content with preaching the Gospel, but fain meddle with other matters, is Parson Brownlow, of Knoxville, Tenn. While recently attending the Methodist Annual Convention at Nashville, he thus comments on hoops:

"All I regret is that skirtdom is expanding, and the fashions in vogue are still increasing the distance between man and woman. At one moment I feel like exclaiming, 'Oh, that I were a boy again!' The next moment I feel indignant at the hoops, and feel willing to join a regiment of men in a vigorous assault upon the rattan, whalebone, cords, brass and steel, that have put asunder what God has said ought to be joined together. Only think of the display on our streets, and in the parlor, of the grand and graceful skirts, looming up around one, fascinating, charming and swinging to and fro, like so many things of life! Talk about the grandeur of a first-class steamer, or of a train of cars propelled by steam! Give me a train of hooped skirts, under the folds of which are so many human locomotives, standing five feet ten inches in slippers, fired up by the blood of warm hearts, and puffing and blowing with love, kind words and winning smiles, and I would show you a sight that would run a young man crazy, raise a dead bachelor to life, and make an old widower commit suicide.

"I cannot trust myself on this luxurious theme; I must desist or go crazy."