Gazette Of The United States, & Philadelphia Daily Advertiser

WALPOLE (N. H.) July 12

For the Farmer's Weekly Museum.

From the shop of Messrs. Colon and Spondee.

ATTENTION, HATMAKERS!

Suspend your scythes—Lean upon your pitchforks—Stick your rakes in the sod, and while the refreshing pitcher goes merrily round, listen to Neighbour Winrow's advice upon drinking.

Fellow Labourers,

WHEN we work most, we thirst most, and drink most abundantly—You will all pronounce that liquor best, which makes you most strong and healthy.

Then do not drink flip—The body in this sultry season being extremely heated, acts like a still, the rum immediately flies off, and the heavy, clammy dregs of the beer and sugar, remain to cloy the stomach, render the laborer dull and weak, and often excite inflammatory disease.

Do not drink toddy or milk punch, for the same reason.

If rum, brandy, whisky, gin or other ardent spirits must be drank, take half gill at a time, unmixed, and immediately drink large draughts of water after it. For the same reason, when a man is crack brained enough to throw a fire brand into a magazine of powder, he cannot do better, than to throw water upon the burning coals as fast as possible.

Drink Switchel, that is, molasses or maple sugar mixed with water.

Drink whey, or milk and water, two-thirds water—spruce or small beer.

Drink cider. Not boiled—if you would be merry, but cider and water, if you would be healthy, happy and wise. The acid in cider is the best preventative against all putrid disorders.

Drink vinegar and water for the same reason.

Drink pure water—You have been told frightful stories about people whose fat has been cooled, and who have died suddenly by drinking cold water. Set the pail in the sun, half an hour before you use it; or rinse your mouth three or four times with the coldest water and you may then drink freely from the coldest spring. If the water is much colder than your bodies it will then do you no harm; it will strengthen and quicken your animal functions, will make you sweat copiously and freely; your nap at noon, and slumbers at night, will be pleasant and refreshing, and you will need, at the next dawn, no other call to awake you than the chirping of the early bird—you will arise to the next day's labour like a giant, refreshed with wine.

Do you doubt what I say, let the stoutest grog bruiser come and try a fall at wrestling with me, a temperate water drinker of sixty-five years of age or take out an acre of foul meadow, and see who will cut it first.

Fellow labourers, when you work for yourselves you will readily allow that the disuse of strong liquors will be a great saving to your purses. If you want to know how great, go and inspect your accounts at the traders, if not listen to my calculation.

Say the hay-season lasts, taking the after growth into the calculation, one month, say that you have three hands to work—allow them each half a pint of rum each day. This will amount, by a rough calculation, to six gallons, which at twelve shillings a gallon for West-India rum, would cost twelve dollars, besides the expense of sugar. New England rum, it is true, would be something less, but brandy something more. Now the sum of twelve dollars in these hard times, would do many valuable things for a farmer—it might purchase three calves, which would treble in two years. It would pay the ministerial, the town, the county or state taxes of a small farmer. It would buy many a comfortable matter for his wife when he blesses him with the rich present of a sturdy boy, or healthy girl.

It might effect a valuable swap in oxen, or perhaps pay two or three small notes or accounts, or such part of them as may prevent the lawyer from making two or three bills of cost, each larger than the original debt, and to save the favourite mare, or the likely two year old colt, from being taken by the sheriff, and sold for half their value at the poke.

But some of you, fellow-labourers, drink strong liquors when you work out as we do now, because you say they cost you nothing; and you are ready to call your employers stingy who wish to discountenance the use of spirits. You are mistaken, my friends, every gill of rum given to you by those, who hire you, costs you much.

Sometimes it costs you a quarrel with your best friends, sometimes a bloody nose, or broken limb, and often a lawsuit, and bill of cost, or a sign up on confession, before a justice of the peace, for an assault and battery; and often a long doctor's bill for a disorder, which you may not, but the physician knows arose from this very cause of strong liquors. Sometimes it costs you the respect of your townsmen; the regard of your children, and love of your wife. Sometimes your reputation in this world, and I fear, your happiness in the next. Are not these heavy costs, friends?

Thus spoke Jorham Winrow, to a gang of hay-makers, in my uncle Jotham's meadow. The whole gang immediately cried out, "Jotham Winrow has spoken wisely" They clubbed upon the spot, and sent a boy to the next grog shop for a humming pitcher of flip, and ordered half a pint more, than the usual quantity of rum to be stirred into it, and all with one accord got tipey by drinking the health of the wise Jotham Winrow.