Alexandria Gazette

His-Tory.-We copy, below, from the Scioto (Ohio) Gazette, a clever piece, under this quaint title. It is ingeniously written, and will be relished on that account, at least, by both the political parties-

It was customary among the people of ancient Republics, to give their remarkable men some distinctive appellation indicating their prominent traits of character, or connected with the most striking incidents of their lives. Thus Demetrius, was called Poliorcites, the destroyer of cities-Caius Marcius was called Coriolanus, from his capture of Corioli--Tarquin, Superbus, from his pride and obstinacy; and many other instances of the same kind will occur to your readers.

I have always admired this short and energetic mode of inscribing on the page of history the qualities of the prominent men of each age, and now propose, in an humble way, to imitate this ancient republican custom, by designating by appropriate titles, the illustrious chief and his subordinates, constituting the Party, who claim to hold the destinies and the deposites of this Republic in their hands.

As I intend this my essay to descend to posterity, for the benefit of students of history in future times, I have been careful to select for my appellatives, a termination at once significant and sonorous, which the "laudatores temporis acti" of future ages will naturally rhyme with Glory; a pleasing reflection to those who are to be thus celebrated by the bards of future times.

As I have no acquaintance with any of these great men, except through the newspapers and public documents, some slight mistakes may occur in applying the appellatives, which I will cheerfully see rectified by any one better qualified than myself for the task, my whole object being merely to "render unto Cæsar the things that are Cæsar's."

I begin the list with the chief. or hero of the Party, whose distinguishing trait it is impossible to mistake, as without great talents, either natural or acquired, he has risen to power and influence almost unbounded, from always having been per-

emptory.

TORY.

His vice-president is sometimes erroneously called the Vice President of the United States, but has entered a disclaimer by stating to the American people, "that it is glory enough for him to have served under such a chief." He is a sweet little fellow, mild, gentle and adula-

TORY.

His chief 'subordinates' of State and War belonging to the parlor cabinet, to borrow a word from his organ are at this time strongly suspected of being refrac-

TORY.

His intermediate subordinates, half way between the kitchen and the parlor, are compelled, in order to keep their places, to truckle to the cabinet- improper, to which they are particularly concilia-

TORY.

His organ is singularly well entitled to the appellation of defama-

TORY.

And his kitchen cabinet, whence all sorts of proclamations, protests, instructions, disclaimers, appeals and messages to the other cabinet, are daily concocted, will I think be best designated as the manufac-

TORY.

To proceed to the Senate of the United States. This the Chief does not yet call his Senate; but the recent issue from the manufacTORY complains that he is defrauded out of it by the refusal of four or five of the Senators to resign, and go home in compliance with party instructions, got up in this same manufac-

TORY.

He has, however, a few whom he may call his own: among the most prominent of which are

His Senator Grundy, chairman of the committee on the General Post Office, who has recently stated that with the assistance of about three dozen additional clerks, he can report upon that establishment, openly charged with mismanagement and corruption. This I think proves that he merits the appellation of dila-

TORY.

His Senator Benton, whose brilliant imagination decorated the East room as magnificently as could the lamp of Aladdin, is as yet unrequired for this and other services equally bold and unscrupulous, because he once raised his sacrilegious hand against the "sainted" chief, but still continues,-to the great fatigue of the Senate and Gallery as well as himself, to be, for days at a time, declama-

TORY.

And lastly, His Senator Forsyth who will "roar you as gently as a sucking dove," and say hard things in the softest tone imaginable, and appear disgusted with the task of villifiying such of his fellow citizens as complain of their sufferings under the Experiment. This task, however, he continues diligently and ably to perform, actuated no doubt by a feeling of gratitude for expected favor. He extends not his labors, however, it is said, beyond the Senate chamber, and even there aims, principally at the suffrages of the fairer portion of his audience. His real disposition is kind and ama-

TORY.

In the House of Representatives, formerly called of the United States, but which now so far as a majority are concerned may triumphantly assume the style of "the Hero's House." we will first take one of his men whom an avowed Tory traveller [Major Hamilton] of England has called "one of the first men of the country."

His countrymen have not been so sensible of the transcendent merits of this distinguished individual who has long been known by the name of the premoni-

TORY.

Another of his men from the same State; whose organ of destructiveness must be immensely developed, of "perish credit, perish commerce" memory, would be best designated as extermina-

TORY.

I might continue this list much further, but that I fear my labors will not be duly appreciated by the illustrious men whose actions it is my wish to commemorate. Should they or the public, however. show favor to my modest efforts, the list will be continued in a future number: being careful to include no one whom the Hero cannot call

HIs-TORY.