The Advance

THE
ADVANCE.

MUCH AFFLICTED

He had fits of epistaxis
And the weakest of thoraces
Ever since he had the measles and the mumps:
He was mad for weeks with rabies
And had seven years of scabies
And dyspepsia kept him always in the dumps.
Weak eyes had he from iritis,
Back likewise from meningitis.
And the latter scarcely left him any spine;
All the tumors from fibroma
To the deadliest sarcoma
He had grown as thick as hops upon a vine.
Chronic case he had of ptosis:
And symptoms of tuberculosis.
And the action of his heart was out of rhythm:
He had numerous neuroses,
Inanition and chloroses,
And from birth he'd ne'er been free from rheumatism.
He had falling of the hair, too.
All, in short, that flesh is heir to.
Every ailment in the calendar had he;
He had every kind of pain—
Toothache, bunions and migraine—
Hold—I'm wrong, he never had the housemaid's
knee.—Siegel Roush.