Port Gibson Herald

The following amusing sketch is from the
racy pen of our friend Patterson, of the Concor-
dia [La.] Intelligencer:

OLD SINGLETIRE
The Man that was not Annexed.

A good story 's told of this bold frontiersman,
who had made himself notorious, and given his
character the bend sinister, by frequent depreda-
tions on both sides the boundary line between
Texas and the United States. The old fellow
had migrated thither from parts unknown, years
since, knew every foot of country for fifty miles
on either side in his vicinity, and had communi-
cation by runners with many "birds of the same
feather," then common in the region.
The old fellow saw, with sorrow and regret,
the rapid influx of population within the last ten
years, and was compelled gradually to narrow
his sphere of usefulness, for said he "peeple's
a gittin too thick about me—they ard their var-
mints and critters is fillin up the woods and spi-
lin the huntin—and then tha aint no chance for
a feller to specelate upon travellers as tha used
to be when tha wa'nt any body to watch a feller:
—why tha is gettin to be so cirilizated that a fel-
ler can't drink a barrel of double rectified thout
havin em all abusin him about it—and then ef
he does happen jist by accident to drap a half
ounce of lead into a feller, why tha is all up in
arms abou. it—now tother day when I wanted to
mark Joe Sliteses ears like tha marks their
hogs, case he called me a vill-yan, they wanted
to jewdicate me afore the court. But cuss 'em
fur a set of blasted fools they aint a gwoin to
fool "OLD SINGLETIRE" ef he is a gittin old and
aint as quick on the trigger as he used to was."
"Blast their skins. I dont care ef tha does an-
nexate Texas! I'll show em somethin—tho' tha
thinks tha is got me slick when tha git the two
countries wedged up into one—but I'll fix em,
I'll quit and go to Arkansaw—whar a decent
white man kin live 'thout bein pestered, and bused
and jewdicated!"
"OLD Single" as he was called, for short, had.
several years previous to the late discussion of
the annexation question, with singular cuteness
ascertained the precise line dividing the two
territories, and built his cabin thereon in such a
position that when lying down—he slept, one half
in the United States, and the other half in Texas,
for he lay at right angles with the line.
The authorities of both sides had frequently
found him in that position, but as their separate
claims lay severally on the entire individual, they
were not content to arrest one half of him at a
time. A great deal of courtesy was at times
exhibited by the officers, each pressing the other
to break the forms of international law by pulling
Old Single bodily over either side the line—each
was up to trap, and feared the other wished to
trick him, and declined the effort which might
cause a rupture between Texas and the Union.
On one occasion they were exceedingly press-
ing on the subject, at first politely so, then teas-
ing each other, and then daring by taunt, and
jeer, and jibe, until they worked themselves into
such furious excitement, that "OLD SINGLE,"
their pretended victim, had to command and pre-
serve the peace—"Gentlemen," said he, "you
may fun and fret and quarrel jist as much as you
please in my house—but when tha is any lickin
to be done bout these dirgins, why "OLD Single"
is thar, sure!—so look out boys, ef you strikes
you dies—show your sense make friends and lets
liker," "you," nodding to one, "hand me a gourd
of water, and" "you," to the other, "pass that bot-
tle and I'll drink to your better 'quaintance."
The day passed, "OLD SINGLE" crosses the
line, and one of the beauties on each side his cot.
all going it like forty at twenty deck poker—a
sociable game as Sol. Smith says—and as re-
marked our informant "the old man was a per-
fect Cumanche horse at my game whar they was
curds."
For the last three months "OLD SINGLE" had
been mightily distressed—"mighty oneasy bout an-
nexation"—for he knew he would be compelled
to travel—well the news of the action of Texas
on this great question was received in "OLD
SINGLE's" vicinity on the 29th of June—the day
it reached Fort Jessup.
Next morning "the boys" from Boston and De
Kalb, a couple of border villages—after a glory
gathering about annexation, determined to
storm "OLD SINGLE" and rout him. They ac-
cordingly, en masse, a-la-regulator, started off
for his cabin, and on arriving near it, a consulta-
tion was held and it was determined that blood
shed was useless—as it was certain to occur if
violence was resorted to—and that a flag of truce
should be sent into the fortress offering terms.
The old man was found in a gloomy mood—
with a pack strapped to his back in woodsman
style "old Centresplit, his friend of thirty years
standing, his rifle, his favorite—his all was
laid across his knees and he in deep thought,
his eyes rested on vacancy as the delegation en-
tered:—he looked up "well boys the time is cum,
and Texas and you is annexed, but I aint, and
I aint a gwoin to be nuther!—so take care how you
raise my dander, I can shoot sum yet!"
The party explained and it was agreed the old
fellow should take up the march upon the line
for the nearest point on Red river, the party es-
corting him at twenty paces distant on either
side—that the last mile should be run—that if
he struck the water's edge first he should go free
—if otherwise, he was to be taken and rendered
up a victim to the offended laws. "Agreed,"
said Old Single, "its a bargain. Boys, thar is a
gallon in that barrell, let's finish it in a friendly
way, and then travel." The thing was done, the
travel accomplished, and the race, fast and furi-
ous, was being done. The old fellow led the
crowd, hallooing at his topmost voice as he gain-
ed the river—"HOOPEE!—HURRAH!—I aint an-
nixated—I'm off—I aint no whar—nuther in the
Slates nor Texas, BUT IN ARKANSAW!!"—swam
to the opposite shore, fired a volley, gave three
cheers and retired victorious.