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Literary
June 17, 1835
The Rhode Island Republican
Newport, Newport County, Rhode Island
What is this article about?
A satirical dialogue from the Troy Budget mocks phrenology, depicting a fraudulent head inspector who, for a dollar, absurdly interprets a stranger's head faculties to please the customer, admitting he'll change the story if needed.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
[From the Troy Budget.]
Messrs. Editors.—I send you the following pattern for a head examination in the hope that it may reach the notice of those great "Apostles" of the science, Messrs. Fowler, Sim, & Co. to whom, I am sure, it will afford some valuable hints.
[Scene—A Head Inspector's room. Enter a stranger.]
Stranger.
Are you Mr. the great Phrenologist?
Inspector—That is my name sir; a name that has reached from one end of the Union to the other. Why, sir, so great is my skill in the science, that out of the thousands of heads that I have "looked over" I have never missed a single development.
Stranger—What is your fee for a careful examination.
Inspector—For one dollar, sir, I will bring to light all the hidden mysteries of your head.
Stranger—here is the cash; proceed.
Inspector—In your head, sir, Amativeness, Destructiveness, Combativeness, Philoprogenitiveness, Adhesiveness, Approbativeness, Conscientiousness, Cautiousness, Hope, Acquisitiveness, Firmness, Inhabitiveness, Benevolence, Reverence, Locality, Imitation, Ideality, Calculation, Marvellousness and Language, are strongly developed.
Stranger—These terms are new to me; I would thank you for an explanation.
Inspector—That I can give you, sir, in a novel and satisfactory manner. Amativeness you love, Destructiveness to shoot your neighbor's cattle, Combativeness you often beat, Philoprogenitiveness your children, Adhesiveness you stick closely, Approbativeness to those that praise you. Conscientiousness you do right, Cautiousness through fear. Hope you expect in a short time, Acquisitiveness that you will get rich. Firmness you are determined, Inhabitiveness to build house. Benevolence you are kind, Reverence to those that worship you. Locality you like to travel, Imitation because others do. Ideality you love poetry, Calculation for its figures. Marvellousness you believe, Language—every thing that I say. There, sir, if that is not correct call again to-morrow in a different dress and I will tell you a different story. I feel it my duty to please my customers.
Messrs. Editors.—I send you the following pattern for a head examination in the hope that it may reach the notice of those great "Apostles" of the science, Messrs. Fowler, Sim, & Co. to whom, I am sure, it will afford some valuable hints.
[Scene—A Head Inspector's room. Enter a stranger.]
Stranger.
Are you Mr. the great Phrenologist?
Inspector—That is my name sir; a name that has reached from one end of the Union to the other. Why, sir, so great is my skill in the science, that out of the thousands of heads that I have "looked over" I have never missed a single development.
Stranger—What is your fee for a careful examination.
Inspector—For one dollar, sir, I will bring to light all the hidden mysteries of your head.
Stranger—here is the cash; proceed.
Inspector—In your head, sir, Amativeness, Destructiveness, Combativeness, Philoprogenitiveness, Adhesiveness, Approbativeness, Conscientiousness, Cautiousness, Hope, Acquisitiveness, Firmness, Inhabitiveness, Benevolence, Reverence, Locality, Imitation, Ideality, Calculation, Marvellousness and Language, are strongly developed.
Stranger—These terms are new to me; I would thank you for an explanation.
Inspector—That I can give you, sir, in a novel and satisfactory manner. Amativeness you love, Destructiveness to shoot your neighbor's cattle, Combativeness you often beat, Philoprogenitiveness your children, Adhesiveness you stick closely, Approbativeness to those that praise you. Conscientiousness you do right, Cautiousness through fear. Hope you expect in a short time, Acquisitiveness that you will get rich. Firmness you are determined, Inhabitiveness to build house. Benevolence you are kind, Reverence to those that worship you. Locality you like to travel, Imitation because others do. Ideality you love poetry, Calculation for its figures. Marvellousness you believe, Language—every thing that I say. There, sir, if that is not correct call again to-morrow in a different dress and I will tell you a different story. I feel it my duty to please my customers.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Dialogue
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
Phrenology
Satire
Head Examination
Dialogue
Quackery
What entities or persons were involved?
[From The Troy Budget.]
Literary Details
Author
[From The Troy Budget.]
Subject
Pattern For A Head Examination
Form / Style
Satirical Dialogue In Prose
Key Lines
Amativeness You Love, Destructiveness To Shoot Your Neighbor's Cattle, Combativeness You Often Beat, Philoprogenitiveness Your Children, Adhesiveness You Stick Closely, Approbativeness To Those That Praise You.
There, Sir, If That Is Not Correct Call Again To Morrow In A Different Dress And I Will Tell You A Different Story. I Feel It My Duty To Please My Customers.