Staunton Spectator

Hood on Duelling:

Tom Hood describes an intended duel which was prevented by an amicable arrangement made upon the ground. The parties—Mr. Brady and Mr. Clay—rivals for the affections of Miss Lucy Bell, find it necessary to appeal to arms. But first they found a friend apiece.

This pleasant thought to give—
That when they both were dead, they'd have
Two seconds yet to live.

To measure out the ground, not long
The seconds next forbore;
And having taken one rash step,
They took a dozen more.

They next prepared each pistol pan,
Against the deadly strife,
By putting in the prime of death
Against the prime of life:

Now all was ready for the fray;
But when they took their stands,
Fear made them tremble so, they found
They both were shaking hands.

Said Mr. C. to Mr. B.,
"Here one of us must fall."

And, like St. Paul's Cathedral now,
Be doomed to have a ball.

"I do confess I did attach
Misconstrue to your name!"
If I withdraw the charge, will then
Your ramrod do the same?"

Said Mr. B., "I do agree;—
But think of Honor's courts,—
If we be off without a shot,
There will be strange reports."

But look! the morning now is bright,
Though cloudy it begun:
Why can't we aim above, as if
We had called out the sun?"

So up into the harmless air
Their bullets they did send;
And may all other duels have
An upshot in the end.