The Woodville Republican

How to Marry off an Old Maid.

A young lady in the neighborhood found herself, some seven or eight years since, arrived at a proper age to marry. And as she was both rich and beautiful, she did not want for suitors.

But Henrietta was as little dyed like the marriageable girl told of by the good Lafontaine. She was somewhat difficult in her tastes, and found one too tall, another too short, this one too thin, and that one too fat, with innumerable other deficiencies just as objectionable as these. Those she had rejected, mortified at their want of success, deterred others who might have wished to try their luck with the young lady, so that at last she found herself almost deserted and forced to the extremity of "setting her cap," as it is called, for a husband. Several years were thus passed, when one day an uncle, who was well acquainted with the subject, and to whom the troubles of Henrietta had been told, undertook to get her married. Being supplied with money and full power in the premises, he took his niece to the south of France, and while on the way held with her this little discourse:

"My dear niece, the great point of success in this world is to seize the opportunities when they arise. Now you have permitted yours to slip by. This is unfortunate, to be sure; but what is to be done! A maiden of your age finds a husband with difficulty. It is not so with a young widow. Henceforth you are no more Mademoiselle Henrietta X—, but Madame Q, your husband, who lived only three months after your union, was an officer, who died from a fall from his horse while hunting. He has no children."

"But my dear uncle,"

"Leave it all to me; and let us purchase the necessary dresses and marriage gifts which your husband would have given you. See! Madame Q, here is your marriage ring. Recollect now, you are to put on a mourning figure and a serious air."

Arrived at Marseilles, the young widow produced a great sensation in the social circle in which she was presented. The great question among the young men now was who should obtain the hand of Madame Q. Many proposed, and one of them was at last accepted.

The evening before the marriage the uncle took his future nephew aside and said, "My dear sir, we have deceived you!"

"How?" exclaimed the young man; "Am I not then loved!" "Oh, far from it"

"Have you deceived me, then, in respect to her fortune?" "On the contrary, she is richer than I told you!"

"What is it then?"

"Alas, a little pleasantry we had one foolish day—my niece is not a widow." "What is Monsieur Q— still living!" "I know not how that may be, but my niece is still a maiden." At these words the future nephew hastened to protest that far from being an obstacle, this news served only to increase his desire for the fulfilment of the marriage. The union was not delayed.

A trip through Italy was taken as their wedding tour before the happy couple returned again to the paternal roof.