The Virginia Gazette

ENTERTAINMENT

A LETTER from a certain GENTLEMAN to his Son.

DEAR BOY,

LEISURE is the Rock which most young People split upon: They launch out with crowded Sails in quest of it; but without Compass to direct their Course, or Reason sufficient to steer the Vessel; for Want of which, Pain and Shame, instead of Pleasure, are the Returns of their Voyage.

Don't think I mean to snarl at Pleasure like a Stoic, or to preach against it as from the Pulpit. No, I mean to point it out, and recommend it to you, like an Epicurean: I wish you a great deal of it; and my only View is to hinder you from mistaking it.

The Character which most young Men in their aim at, is that of a Man of Pleasure; but they generally take it upon Trust; and instead of consulting their own Taste and Inclinations, they blindly adopt whatever those, with whom they chiefly converse, are pleased to call by it, which, in the vulgar Acceptation of that Phrase, means only a beastly Drunkard, an abandoned Whoremaster, or a profligate Swearer and Curs'er

As it may be of Use to you, I am not unwilling, though at the same shamed, to own, that the Vice of my Youth proceeded much more from my silly Resolution of being what I heard called a Man of Pleasure, than from my own Inclinations. I always naturally hated Drinking; and yet I have often drank with Disgust at the Time, attended by great Sickness the next Day, only because I then considered Drinking as a necessary Qualification in a fine Gentleman, and a Man of Pleasure.

The same was the Case as to Gaming: I did not want Money, consequently I had no Occasion to play for it; but I thought Play another necessary Ingredient in the composition of a fine Gentleman, and a Man of Pleasure; and accordingly I plunged into it without Desire at first, and made myself solidly uneasy by it for thirty the best Years of my Life. I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of adorning and compleating the shining Character which I affected; but this Folly I soon laid aside, upon finding both the Guilt and Indecency of it.

Thus seduced by Fashion, and blindly adopting nominal Pleasures, I lost real ones. My Fortune impaired, and my Constitution shattered, are, I must confess, the just Punishments of my Errors: Take Warning then by them; chuse your Pleasures for yourself, and don't let them be imposed on you; follow Nature, not Fashion; weigh the present Enjoyment of your Pleasures against the necessary Consequences of them, and then let your Own common Sense determine your Choice.

Were I to begin the World again with the Experience I now have of it, I would live a Life of real, not imaginary Pleasure. I would enjoy the Pleasures of the Table and of Wine, but stop short of the Pains inseparably annexed to an Excess in either. I would not at Twenty be a preaching Missionary of Abstemiousness and Sobriety: I would let other People do as they would, without formally and sententiously rebuking them for it; but I would be most firmly resolved not to destroy my own Faculties and Constitution in Compliance to those who have no Regard to theirs. I would play to give me Pleasure, but not to give me Pain; that is, I would play for Trifles in mixed Companies to amuse myself, and conform to Custom; but I would take Care not to venture for Sums, which if I won, I should not be the better for, but if I lost, should be under a Difficulty to pay, and when paid, would oblige me to retrench in several other Articles; not to mention the Quarrels which deep Play commonly occasions.

I would pass some of my Time in Reading, and the rest in the Company of People of Sense and Learning, and chiefly those above me; and I would frequent the mixed Company of Men and Women of Fashion, which tho' often frivolous, yet unbends and refreshes the Mind, not uselessly, because it certainly polishes and softens the Manners.

These would be my Pleasures and Amusements, if I were to live the last Thirty Years over again: They are rational ones; and moreover I will tell you, they are real and fashionable ones; for the others are not in Truth the Pleasures of what I call People of Fashion, but of those who only call themselves so. Does good Company care to have a Man jesting drunk amongst them? Or to see another tearing his Hair, and blaspheming, for having lost at Play more than he is able to pay? Or a Whoremaster, with half a Nose, and crippled by coarse and infamous Debauches? No, those who practise, and much more those who boast of such Pleasures, make no Part of good Company, and are most unwillingly, if ever, admitted into it. A real Man of Pleasure and Fashion observes Decency at least; he neither borrows nor affects Vices; and if he unfortunately has any, he gratifies them with Choice, Delicacy, and Secrecy.

I have not mentioned the Pleasures of the Mind, which are the solid and permanent ones, because they do not come under the Head of what people commonly call Pleasures, which they seem to confine to the Senses. The Pleasures of Virtue, of Charity, of Learning, are true and lasting ones, which I hope you will be well and long acquainted with.

I am Yours, &c.