The Northern Star, And Constitutionalist

MR. Randall,—On noticing in your last paper, the "transcendently brilliant essay" of wit and criticism, levelled at our poor "serious thoughts" by your wonderful modern "Aristides," who thought, no doubt, to annihilate them or destroy their effect; and by that awful threatening of a "regular built hearing," shrouded in future "time and circumstances," to entirely demolish our little "Thought Factory" or prevent any further issue from it of what seems to be so obnoxious to him, but of which we think he has great need, far above what he possesses or we can furnish, before he will bear the least shadow of resemblance, in any respect, to his worthy and virtuous great namesake of old, we put his communication, all sappy and frothy as it was into our factory and forthwith there came tumbling out the following thoughts, one after another, and which we send you, Mr. Editor, right from the mill, for the special benefit of this great nominee; with a few serious reflections for those who will take the trouble to reflect upon them.

Thought 1st. Can it be that this latter day "Aristides" is a genuine descendant from any of the ancient worthies and eminent men of that name; certainly not from that old celebrated Athenian, whose great temperance and virtue procured him the surname of just; or the great orator, who wrote so many orations and other works, both to benefit mankind and to honor the Gods: or even the painter of Thebes, the philosopher of Mysia, or the Athenian agriculturalist—if so, what a degeneracy! what a falling off!!

Thought 2d. But as there were other ancient personages of the same name, as we further learn by Lempriere, viz: A historian of Miletus, fonder of stories and anecdotes than of truth; and an Athlete, who obtained a prize at the Olympian games; and also a man of Locris, who died by the bite of a weasel—perhaps while attending some exhibition of wild beasts or circus raree show—it is possible that our "Aristides" here, is a descendant of some one of the latter class, and inherits all the vices and follies of his ancestor, without any of his good qualities, as is often the case with the descendants of renowned personages. But from

Thought 3d—We are inclined to think, after all, that he is one of our own frail cousins, of the sap-head family,—probably one of that particular branch, alluded to in the story of Mr. Elisha R. Potter, contained in your last paper in the article headed "Children without names," and that in supplying himself with one, got it out of some old purser's slop book, the pedigree of which he knew nothing and which makes about as good a fit as a certain article often found registered in the same place, does, when spread upon a handspike. "But enough of this enigmatical title, for the present"—we will however, further remark, to beg of you Mr. Editor, when this "regular built hearing" shall be coming along, as it will probably pass through your premises, if you think its concussion will shake us all to pieces and completely annihilate us, do hold on to it a bit, and let it off easy by degrees. As we have taken up so much space with our thoughts upon Mr. or General "Aristides" or whatever he may call himself, we retain our serious reflections, which we shall probably offer for a future paper.

FLAT HEAD.