Thank you for visiting SNEWPapers!
Sign up free
Literary
October 17, 1882
Semi Weekly Interior Journal
Stanford, Lincoln County, Kentucky
What is this article about?
Satirical essay from London Saturday Night contrasting the reader's fortunate modern life with the violent, miserable deaths of early English monarchs like Edmund, Edred, Edwy, Edgar, Edward, and others, often due to betrayal, murder, or intrigue.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
The Bad Fate of Many English Rulers
(From the London Saturday Night.)
Did you ever stop, gentle reader, in your evenly-balanced and unchecked career as a peaceful freeman of our glorious Union, to consider how fortunate it is for you that you were not alive 500 or 1,000 years ago? Because if you had been living then you might, and in all probability would, have been King or Queen of England, in which case your wretched existence and miserable death would have been assured.
There was King Edmund, who, while feasting with all his nobles about him, was attacked by a noted robber of the day and stabbed to the heart. Without pausing to inquire what the nobles were about to permit this murder, we will proceed to King Edred. Edred was hounded into dissoluteness by a favorite, St. Dunstan, an ambitious priest, who was permitted to run the governmental machine pretty much as he pleased. Edwy, the successor of Edred, inherited the partisanship of Brother St. Dunstan, but, choosing to marry against St. Dunstan's will, he incurred the violent displeasure of the man of God, who through the instrumentality of Odo, then Archbishop of Canterbury, caused the Queen's face to be burned with hot irons, and then carried her away to Ireland, and finally killed her, the shock breaking poor King Edwy's heart.
The next King, Edgar, reigned for seventeen years, and, strange to say, had no trouble at all, and finally died an ordinary, every-day sort of death, at his residence, No. so and so, such a street, Edgar, King of England, age 37 years, 11 months and 18 days. Friends of the family invited to attend. The next to assume the crown was Edward, who, a very short time thereafter, was stabbed in the back by a hireling of his mother, Elfrida, whose own son, Ethelred, then succeeded to the throne. King Edmund was murdered by one of his nobles; King Harold died from the effects of a shot in the eye; William of Normandy got a bruise that led to a wretched death; William II. was shot with an arrow and killed; and so it went, the good Kings and Queens being killed by the bad people, while the bad sovereigns were put out of the way by the good people.
(From the London Saturday Night.)
Did you ever stop, gentle reader, in your evenly-balanced and unchecked career as a peaceful freeman of our glorious Union, to consider how fortunate it is for you that you were not alive 500 or 1,000 years ago? Because if you had been living then you might, and in all probability would, have been King or Queen of England, in which case your wretched existence and miserable death would have been assured.
There was King Edmund, who, while feasting with all his nobles about him, was attacked by a noted robber of the day and stabbed to the heart. Without pausing to inquire what the nobles were about to permit this murder, we will proceed to King Edred. Edred was hounded into dissoluteness by a favorite, St. Dunstan, an ambitious priest, who was permitted to run the governmental machine pretty much as he pleased. Edwy, the successor of Edred, inherited the partisanship of Brother St. Dunstan, but, choosing to marry against St. Dunstan's will, he incurred the violent displeasure of the man of God, who through the instrumentality of Odo, then Archbishop of Canterbury, caused the Queen's face to be burned with hot irons, and then carried her away to Ireland, and finally killed her, the shock breaking poor King Edwy's heart.
The next King, Edgar, reigned for seventeen years, and, strange to say, had no trouble at all, and finally died an ordinary, every-day sort of death, at his residence, No. so and so, such a street, Edgar, King of England, age 37 years, 11 months and 18 days. Friends of the family invited to attend. The next to assume the crown was Edward, who, a very short time thereafter, was stabbed in the back by a hireling of his mother, Elfrida, whose own son, Ethelred, then succeeded to the throne. King Edmund was murdered by one of his nobles; King Harold died from the effects of a shot in the eye; William of Normandy got a bruise that led to a wretched death; William II. was shot with an arrow and killed; and so it went, the good Kings and Queens being killed by the bad people, while the bad sovereigns were put out of the way by the good people.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Essay
What themes does it cover?
Death Mortality
Political
What keywords are associated?
English Rulers
Royal Deaths
Political Intrigue
Satirical History
Monarch Fates
What entities or persons were involved?
From The London Saturday Night.
Literary Details
Title
The Bad Fate Of Many English Rulers
Author
From The London Saturday Night.
Subject
Unfortunate Fates Of English Monarchs
Form / Style
Satirical Prose Essay
Key Lines
Did You Ever Stop, Gentle Reader, In Your Evenly Balanced And Unchecked Career As A Peaceful Freeman Of Our Glorious Union, To Consider How Fortunate It Is For You That You Were Not Alive 500 Or 1,000 Years Ago?
The Good Kings And Queens Being Killed By The Bad People, While The Bad Sovereigns Were Put Out Of The Way By The Good People.