Wheeling Register

Lem Benton.
Look dar, chillun! Look at dem wooly
heads hangin' on behind dat kerridge!
Don' low yo' fader ter cotch one ob yo'
goin' froo de world holdin' on ter any
body's kerridge or coattails.
Hangin' behind am jist sot's spilein'
de present crop of manhood.
Yo' sees 'em hangin' behind in de
backer crop 'spectin' ter be help't out at
de end ob de row.
Dey have rich'lations an' dey's allus
hangin' behind at de circus doah ter be
tuk in; hangin' behind ter git a sasser
of de ice cream freezer; hangin' behind
were dey's 'lations hab company ter rav-
dge de second table.
Yo' fader runs foh jestes ob de peace
an' 'bout 'leben big backs want ter de
cornstable ob de township. Dey hangs
on ter yo' fader's coat tails spectin' he
pull dem ol' froo. Yo' fader kin promise
ter do hit, kase dat am politics; "but he
allus hab ter trade dem foh votes 'ginst
de candidate wot makes hit hot foh yo'
fader.
Dese am de fools wot buys second
hand furniture; buvs second wear clothes
at auction; second-hand jewelry ob de
peddler, an' borrers de newspaper a
week old. Allus swingin' on behind
sumpfit.' or somebody.
Dey makes a 'pintment foh sunrise an'
gits dar in time to eat dinner wid yo'.
Dey nebber pays a note till de' jestis
piles de cost on hit.
Dey am late ter church an' miss de
collection,
Dev gits lef' by de train; gits lef' in de
tra le; gits lef' in ebberyting in de gran'
race ob life.
Yo' fader keeps dis backer stick in de
chimney corner to prevent dis habit of
hangin' behind gittin' a hoit on you; ter
'struct yo' ter 'void de tail ob de pro-
cession, an' git right on de front seat ob
yo' own kerridge an' raise a big dust long
de turnpike ob life.
Den while yo' libs folks am gwine ter
respect yo', an' wen yo' dies yo' fader
wont find yo' ober dar, playin' second
fiddle in de hebe slv os' ricby.