The Wyandot Pioneer

All is not gold that glitters, and the loudest mouthed philanthropists and reformers sometimes 'cave in' when put to a severe practical test like the following recorded in the Olive Branch:

'I had a brother-in-law,' said Mose Parkins, 'who was one of the ravenest, maddest, reddest, hottest abolitionists you ever did see. I liked the pesky critter well enough, and should have been very glad to see him come to spend a day, fetchin' my sister to see me and my wife, if he hadn't lowed his tongue to run on so 'bout niggers and slavery, and the equality of the races, and the duty of overthrowing the Constitution of the United States, and a lot of other things: some of which made me mad, and the best part of 'em right sick. I puzzled my brains a good deal to think how I could make him shet up his noisy head bout abolition. Wall, one time when brother in law come over to stay, an idea struck me I hired a nigger to help me having time He was the biggest, strongest, greasiest nigger you ever seed. Black! be was blacker than a stack of black cats, and jest as shiny as a new beaver hat. I spoke to him. Jake,' sez I, when. you hear he breakfast bell ring, don't say a word, but you come into the parlor and sit right down among the folks and eat your breakfast. The nigger's eyes stuck out of his bead about a feet! 'Your jokin,' massa, sez he. 'Jekin,' sez I, 'I'm sober as a deacon.' 'But,' sez he' 'I shant have time to wash myself, and change my shirt.-' 'So mucb the better,' sez I. Wall, breakfast come, so did Jake and be set down 'long side my brother-in.law. He staid, but he didn't say a word. There warn't no mistake about it. Shut your eyes and you'd knowit--for he was loud, I tell you. There was a fust-rate chance to talk abolitionism' but brother in law never opened his head. 'Jake,' sez I, 'you be on hand at dinner time,' and he was. He had been working in the medder all the forenoon--it was as hot as hickorv and bilin'pitch-and-but I leave the rest to your imagination. Wall, in the afternoon, brother-in law came up to me, madder than a short tailed bull in hornet time. 'Mose,' said be, 'I want to speak to you.' 'Sing it out,' sez I. 'I havn't but few words to say,' sez he, 'but if that 'ere confounded niggrr comes to the ta-ble again while I'm stoppin'here, I'll elear out.' Jake ate his supper that night in the kitc hen, but from that to this, I never heard my brother-in-law open his head a-bout abolitionism. When the fugitive slave bill was passed I thought he'd let out some, but he didn't, for he know'd that Jake was stil working on the farm!'