The New Hampshire Gazette And Historical Chronicle

From the CRAFTSMAN of Feb. 15. 1767.

THE CUNNING MAN

He deals in Destiny's dark councils,
And age opinions of the Moon sells.
HUDIBRAS.

Having passed forty years of my life in which many things have happened, and have resolved the lawful questions of great numbers of inquisitive people, I chose (like other great men, and wise philosophers) to retire from public business, and enjoy in a quiet repose what I had gained in being serviceable to mankind. - But as a once active man can never be entirely idle, I shall continue to exercise my faculties for the good of my country gratis. If therefore any extravagant Lady wants: to know when her husband will break his heart, and leave her in the comfortable state of Widowhood ; any Young Heir, when old Square Toes will tip off ; any Expectant of a Reversion of Church Living, when either will devolve to him ; any credulous young Lady, when her Lover will shoulder her cracked honour ; any husband, when the eternal alarum of his wife's tongue will be absolutely quiet ; or any pining Virgin, when she shall be married ; let them send their several enquiries to me, and they shall be resolved.

It is immaterial to the public whence I derived my knowledge, if they but experience the truth of it ; Whether like the Necromancer, I call the spirits of the dead to satisfy my demands, whether I learn futurity, like the Augurs and Aruspices of old, from the chattering, or flight of birds, or from the inspection of guts and garbage : Whether I divine from the flame and smoke, in Pyromancy, and Capnomancy ; from the air and clouds, by Aeromancy; from points thrown casually on the ground, by Geomancy ; or collect my informations from any other mancy whatever : I say, it is not material to the Querist, provided he or she is satisfied. They will know I do not prognosticate from the lines in their hands or foreheads, because I do not see them : Nor do I calculate their nativities, because I do not require the days and hours of their birth : but this I assure them, that I can both tell and foretell.

At this period of time we have very few Cunning Men among us. A late Chancellor of the Exchequer was not a Cunning man when he made the Stamp-act. or he might have foreseen the consequences of it. A late Negotiator was not a Cunning Man when he made the peace. A late eminent Divine was no Cunning Man when he expected the mitre which has settled on another's head. A late vociferous Lawyer was no Cunning Man or he might have kept his place. And a late Great Commoner was surely no Cunning Man when he took the title of "Right Honourable." All these mistakes, and many thousand others, all the blunders in the State, and oversights in government for many years past, have occurred for want of proper Cunning Men. In former times several Monarchs kept Cunning Men in their pay : they did nothing of moment without consulting them, and while they did thus, they did well and prospered in every undertaking. But England produces such a set of vain men who each thinks he knows enough, and scorns advice ; so that those who can look into the womb of time,
And see which seed will grow & which will not,
are totally disregarded, 'and since that time, we plainly see what have been the consequences ; for nothing has gone right, nor have we done one thing well, but quite ; that is to say, 'we are a nation of Hearts and Hands, but have no Heads.

I beg my readers may not mistake me, or think by what I have said, that I would insinuate a desire of being made the Stage Astrologer ; no such thing, I assure them ; I'am too old and too infirm to desire to guide ; I have the gout in my hand sometimes, and am often forced to walk with crutches ; and altho' I know I shall live twelve years, nine months, six days, fourteen hours, and forty-five minutes from this present minute of my writing, yet I prefer quiet to noise and bustle, and absolutely refuse to be responsible for any public measure.--But such is my love for my country, and my sorrow to see things turned topsy-turvy, that I will freely give my advice to such of the administration as may send to ask it, for positively I will not come to court.

In the course of my letters, I shall pay a very particular regard to ladies and lovers ; the one are others too greatly blinded to be able to act without advice, which I shall ever be ready to give. In all domestic disputes between husband & wife, parent and child, guardian and ward, or master and servant, I shall foretell them the consequences of their conduct, and what a reformation will produce.

But I declare I will not make any discovery of things lost or stolen, as I will not intrude upon the province of a worthy magistrate, who is already something of a Cunning Man, and is attended with a number of familiars and evil spirits, nor deprive his followers of the only means by which they can possibly get their bread.

As I shall be sometimes consulted in commercial affairs, I shall tell the merchant and manufacturer where he will find the best vent for his wares. tho I will never resolve either of them where they may best land their uncustomed goods, or how they shall escape the vigilance of the officers of the revenue ; neither will I advise the tradesman how to hide the defects of his goods, or impose on the ignorant buyer, for I would have every man as honest in his profession as I am in mine.

Now I am speaking of Honesty, let me not forget the Lawyers and Quack-Doctors. I shall be very ready to advise clients and patients, whether they are justly dealt by.; If an Attorney betrays his client's cause, or the counsellor takes fees on both sides, I shall lay open their proceedings. I shall acquaint the sick man, whether the medicine he takes is as dangerous as a Patent Electuary,or as perfectly harmless as Balsam of Honey, or Elixir of Sage, neither of which can do any person any harm, excepting by the loss of time. But I shall be somewhat sparing in the last article, as the undertakers of this metropolis are a large body of men; and they, with their wives, families, and dependants must starve, if all quacks and mountebanks are suppressed.

Having thus displayed my intention, I shall only add, that all letters, directed for the Cunning Man, to be left with the Printer of the Craftsman, will come to my hands, and shall be duly honoured.