The New Hampshire Gazette And General Advertiser

A NEW TAX Proposed.

Mr. EDITOR,

PROFESSED scold is at once the most disagreeable and obnoxious being in the world. She not only renders herself completely disagreeable, but carries a general stigma on her sex; and I will venture to say, there are many old bachelors, who would have long since entered into a state of wedlock, had they not been deterred from it by some female relation or acquaintance, whose great talents in that way made them fear they might meet with a wife, whose genius was of the same turn. The maidens and widows of this island have just plea to petition parliament for the transportation of every professed vixen in the kingdom; or, if this should be thought too severe, they should at least be taxed to silence them, though probably they might scold the more for it.

I know a very ingenious old gentleman, who has never had the courage to engage in matrimony, and gives it as his opinion, that the innumerable bachelors every where to be found, remain so more thro' the fear of being scolded to death, than from any mercenary cause, or far less for any real disposition to celibacy. He has furnished me with the hints of taxing the race of shrews, having put into my hands the following proportion, which he thinks very reasonable:

Scolding every morning, 20l. per ann.
Twice a day, 30l.
Three times, 40l.
Every other day, 10l.
Once a week, if not on Sundays, 5l.
Scolding a husband into a consumption or any other lingering disorder, 100l.
Scolding a husband to death, 500l.
Scolding herself in hysterics, 1000l.

This calculation is made for a woman who brings 1500l. to her fortune, which, indeed, my friend says, is the least portion a vixen should have; so that the penalties should be proportionably augmented to the increase of this fortune.

A tax upon bachelors has long since been talked of and by many judged proper: but I do not think this would be striking at the root of the evil, as it plainly appears, that the real source of the complaint, celibacy, is to be traced to this female vice which cannot be too speedily, or too completely eradicated.

I am, sir, your very humble servant.

ANTI VIXEN.