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Literary
January 21, 1737
The Virginia Gazette
Richmond, Williamsburg, Richmond County, Virginia
What is this article about?
Satirical essay from The Monitor No. 19 likening writing to an infectious disease spread by 'scribblers,' proposing absurd cures like starvation or manual labor. Responds humorously to critic Zoilus, including a new song praising his future works while advising concise, original lessons.
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The MONITOR.
No 19.
Aliquis Carnifici Suo supertes fuit.
Sen.
Tis very certain, that there is not a
more infectious Disease than that of
Writing: And as my Admonisher Zoilus
observes, 'twou'd be a glorious Under-
taking to clear the World of those
Base Vermin, call'd Scribblers, Save One!
for it has been long observ'd, that Writing is quite useless,
and the Spirit of it maintain'd only by Men of the Super-
idiot Class.
How this Part of the World catch'd the Distemper is
not yet found out; but there is no denying the Matter of
Fact; therefore the Method I Shou'd propose for an infal-
lible Cure, is to have a Bill put up in every Parish
Church, to pray for the Continuance of the hard Wea-
ther, and starve them all, Save One ---- or, to compas-
sionate their Misfortunes, make them useful, and employ
them in opening of Trenches to carry off all the Snow-Water, and
to more Advantage; that is, to set them to the O-
prevent Inundations in our Cellars.
Various Distempers are treated with various Methods;
and 'tis observ'd by Physicians, when they find the mor-
bifick Matter too obstinate to be purg'd away, they try
to give it a Turn, and throw it into some other Part
where the Consequence may be less dangerous to the Pa-
tient.
My worthy Friend Zoilus, intimates, he was in a per-
fect good Humour when he wrote his Song: I believe
nothing can make me ill-natur'd, at this Juncture, but the want
of Wood, and a chearful Glass: And, let the World
wagg as it will, I am determin'd to steal nothing from
him but his Tune; and I presume that was not his own;
therefore, upon a fair Indictment, we shall be found e-
qually culpable.
The MONITOR to Zoilus:
A New Song:
To the Tune of, To all ye Ladies now at Land, &c.
Sing fill'd
Zoilus the First! -----the First receiv'd;
We hope will write again;
Whose Works, no doubt, will stand the Test!
Believe me, Sirs,----- they're void of Jest.
with a fa la.
If useful Lessons you can teach,
Pray let them be concise;
No Matter whose they are you preach,
We will not criticise:
Do but observe the Rule laid down,
Hold forth ---- But let it be your own.
with a fa la.
To succour common Sense, 'tis true,
Is laudable and just;
But do you claim it as your Due,
Or are you but in Trust?
For, if the Truth I must indite,
To common Sense You have no Right.
No 19.
Aliquis Carnifici Suo supertes fuit.
Sen.
Tis very certain, that there is not a
more infectious Disease than that of
Writing: And as my Admonisher Zoilus
observes, 'twou'd be a glorious Under-
taking to clear the World of those
Base Vermin, call'd Scribblers, Save One!
for it has been long observ'd, that Writing is quite useless,
and the Spirit of it maintain'd only by Men of the Super-
idiot Class.
How this Part of the World catch'd the Distemper is
not yet found out; but there is no denying the Matter of
Fact; therefore the Method I Shou'd propose for an infal-
lible Cure, is to have a Bill put up in every Parish
Church, to pray for the Continuance of the hard Wea-
ther, and starve them all, Save One ---- or, to compas-
sionate their Misfortunes, make them useful, and employ
them in opening of Trenches to carry off all the Snow-Water, and
to more Advantage; that is, to set them to the O-
prevent Inundations in our Cellars.
Various Distempers are treated with various Methods;
and 'tis observ'd by Physicians, when they find the mor-
bifick Matter too obstinate to be purg'd away, they try
to give it a Turn, and throw it into some other Part
where the Consequence may be less dangerous to the Pa-
tient.
My worthy Friend Zoilus, intimates, he was in a per-
fect good Humour when he wrote his Song: I believe
nothing can make me ill-natur'd, at this Juncture, but the want
of Wood, and a chearful Glass: And, let the World
wagg as it will, I am determin'd to steal nothing from
him but his Tune; and I presume that was not his own;
therefore, upon a fair Indictment, we shall be found e-
qually culpable.
The MONITOR to Zoilus:
A New Song:
To the Tune of, To all ye Ladies now at Land, &c.
Sing fill'd
Zoilus the First! -----the First receiv'd;
We hope will write again;
Whose Works, no doubt, will stand the Test!
Believe me, Sirs,----- they're void of Jest.
with a fa la.
If useful Lessons you can teach,
Pray let them be concise;
No Matter whose they are you preach,
We will not criticise:
Do but observe the Rule laid down,
Hold forth ---- But let it be your own.
with a fa la.
To succour common Sense, 'tis true,
Is laudable and just;
But do you claim it as your Due,
Or are you but in Trust?
For, if the Truth I must indite,
To common Sense You have no Right.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Essay
Poem
What themes does it cover?
Moral Virtue
Social Manners
What keywords are associated?
Satire
Writing
Scribblers
Zoilus
Disease
Song
Criticism
Common Sense
Literary Details
Title
The Monitor. No 19.
Subject
Satire On The Disease Of Writing And Response To Zoilus
Form / Style
Satirical Prose Essay With Inserted Song
Key Lines
'Twou'd Be A Glorious Undertaking To Clear The World Of Those Base Vermin, Call'd Scribblers, Save One!
To Have A Bill Put Up In Every Parish Church, To Pray For The Continuance Of The Hard Weather, And Starve Them All, Save One
Sing Fill'd Zoilus The First! The First Receiv'd; We Hope Will Write Again; Whose Works, No Doubt, Will Stand The Test! Believe Me, Sirs, They're Void Of Jest. With A Fa La.
If Useful Lessons You Can Teach, Pray Let Them Be Concise; No Matter Whose They Are You Preach, We Will Not Criticise:
To Succour Common Sense, 'Tis True, Is Laudable And Just; But Do You Claim It As Your Due, Or Are You But In Trust?