Douglas Daily International

It's Better to Slam Plates Than Give Up Battle of Married Life!

Couples Can Still Be Happy Tho Married, If They Know How

By DINGBAT DINGUS

As the years go by and I live here and there, sometimes in crowded apartments where I can get the "low-down" on all the neighbors' fusses and fights, and sometimes in nice big open places where the quiet of the evening is broken by the crashing of plates and shrill voices 'which echo their anger even unto the heavens. I wonder why it is these couples who scrap, fuss. bite and scratch, do not learn the rules and cease their strife. Some folks look on marriage aghast; it is a thing that only angels can swim through without regret: it is a mud puddle of unhappiness, discontent and misery.

As a matter of fact, marriage is none of these things-if rules and requirements are sanely followed. The day has past when a couple can succeed only on love. It is a day when both man and woman must each overlook the other's faults. recognize individual peculiarity and not expect too much of each other.

Ah, Ha! The Plot Unfolds.

There has never been. there is not now. nor will there ever be. any rules that will guarantee uninterrupted bliss between man and wife from the time they say I do' until they separate through death or divorce."But there are certain rules which will eliminate much friction when a fracas looms. Nagging has wrecked more homes than wine. women and song. Fussing leads to nagging. Why fuss? If one cannot gain the point in argument, try slamming a plate. It is very effective. Ain't It So?

If one or the other of a married couple expect too much from their mate, they will some time wake up to the realization they married a plain boob-iust the onery critter one sees every day.

When a married couple live beyond their means. it leads to a crash. One of them will soon accuse the other of being the family spendthrift. That will start a fuss. Then will come the nagging. Later regret. The woman who takes surplus jack from hubby's pockets. can expect hubby to lie to her as to what he does with his money.

On the other hand. the man who is stingy with his wife can expect her to take means to acquire that which she needs, or thinks she needs. Many times, perhaps, it may be the latter! The Poor Fish!

There are men who like to smoke cigars. They think nothing of smoking six or ten a day. They also buy their drinks and other sundry items, but kick like a bay steer if the old girl wants some new frills to revamp her old dress.

The safest thing for the man to do is to buy what he thinks he can afford, give his spouse the same privilege and hope the bank account lasts.

Ten Commandments Of Married Life

When a couple launches upon the stormy waves of life there are certain rules and requirements that must be taken into consideration just as there are certain elements the navigator must combat when he pilots his vessel through a rough and treacherous sea.

To those who would be happy though matrimonially tied for life, the following ten commandments are applicable:

1. Thou shall not NAG.

Thou shalt not FUSS.

Thou shalt not EXPECT TOO MUCH of each other.

4. Thou shalt not live beyond thy means or take surplus jack from hubby's pockets.

5. Thou shalt not expect to smoke cigars unless thou slip the wife a box of bon-bons now and THEN!

6. Thou shalt not be selfish, but strive to give each other equal rights.

7. Thou shalt not rush to the divorce courts when a tilt appears on the horizon for it is better to slam plates than give up the battle.

8. Thou shalt not forget to apologize if thou art wrong.

9. Thou shalt not go tattling to the neighbors with details of family troubles.

10. Thou shalt not forget Commandment No. 1, for yea, verily, it is the source of all trouble.

Don't Go Tattling to Neighbors of Your Troubles! Fight it Out!

By way of parenthesis, a man can get away with a lot of things if he doesn't forget to take the little woman a box of bonbons now and then or has some fruit-strewn ice cream sent out to the house on a hot afternoon.

The couple which puts selfishness aside, and lives for each other. is usually the one that smashes the fewest plates over each other's dome.

Put 'Er There, Boney!

Napoleon-or maybe it was Solomon, as the latter had the greatest variety of wives-said it was best for a man to remain in silence and hear a woman's unreasoning through. Whoever said that had been married.

Sometimes a woman has more sense in a minute than her poor mutt of a husband can muster in a week. and it is then, when the man realizes he can't think of anything particularly bright. that he should counsel the advice of the old girl. However, there are times andtimes when a woman knows she is right. and she ain't right, and there is nothing under the sun, not even Solomon, who could make her see any different. It is then a man should say 'yes, dear" and then do as he pleases. After the storm has passed, if you were right, she will see the light. But-- If you were wrong, there is nothing to do but let 'er-rave and hand out the I told you so' stuff. And it is then you should pick up a plate and tell her to cut the nagging or you'll bean her over the head.

A man should never bluff; either heave the plate or take the gaff.

Kee the Curtain Down!

When these lively scenes occur, close the windows and keep it from the neighbors. Since it is a fact that the man is wrong, apologize. And when hubby apologizes the wife should not rub it in. Neither should she run to the neighbors with her troubles. It's a Chaplin serial film to them and they will want to keep the story going.

Summing it all up. the best that either a man or a woman can do is to do the best they can. And above all don't nag, for it is the root of all trouble.