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Sign up freeThe Providence Journal, And Town And Country Advertiser
Providence, Providence County, Rhode Island
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Satirical editorial mocking New York Democratic-Republicans' demands for political offices under Jefferson, ridiculing their feigned patriotism, threats of revolt, and disdain for Federalists and the Constitution if not rewarded with jobs.
Merged-components note: Continuation of the satirical editorial piece responding to the Washington Federalist, spanning from page 1 to page 2 with sequential reading order.
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These 'Watch Tower' blunderheads have let the cat out. It is all as we thought. The noise, the complaint, the disinterested patriotism, the violent red-hot love of liberty, the burning affection for republicanism, the adoration of Mr. Jefferson, the hatred of John Adams, the struggle, the pull, and the push, all centre in this; you are in office, and we out. We are surprised the New-York democrats should encourage such tell-tale editors in blabbing out the whole secret at once.
So solitary and unfrequent. Out with them, all together; let not a man remain in office, who is not a republican. We are many of us in desperate circumstances.
We have forsaken our business, our shops, our work-benches, our shoemaker's lasts, our hatter's blocks, &c. &c. for years, with a confident expectation, that when you, Sir, was elected, we should all be fed, and clothed, and fare sumptuously, at the public expense. Alas, why this delay? if relief comes not soon, to jail we must go. Hasten the time, Sir, ere we must solemnly, though reluctantly, enquire, 'for God's sake, what have we been contending for?'
Apprehensions and doubts. We beg Sir, to apprehend that--that--that, Sir, you are about to leave us in the lurch. we might as well have been honest and federal. But better had it been, for possibly some of us, not much known, might have had some appointment long ere now. Besides, we should not have been obliged to wear about such ragged coats and consciences, that have attended our neglect of business for the pursuit of a fancily painted but evanescent shadow.
Manifold transgressions of the constitution. We know not what these transgressions are, but we are determined to fret and scold about something or other, a while longer yet, while there is still a glimpse of hope. We might, Sir, but we would not wish to hurt your feelings, unless you are resolved to hurt our feelings and purses too--we might, Sir, throw a whisper in your royal ear that would make you mad to do--we believe John Adams as great a man as yourself--and, by the Lord, this our sincere opinion shall not slumber in secrecy much longer, unless you attend to the proper way of stopping our mouths. We are ripe for a revolt--the time is critical--pause. ponder.
Neither the constitution can be safe, nor themselves can be satisfied. Hang the constitution--we only bring this in by way of adjunct--little do we care what the constitution is, nor whether it stands, staggers or falls--the great point is--we ourselves are not satisfied.
Will render unpopular if not odious. Had we believed, Sir, that generous, patriotic and upright feelings would govern you, we would have seen you to the--mound before one of us would have lent half a vote in your favour. The federal printers all told us such principles would not rule your conduct--we were fools enough to discredit them--but now we believe they can lie as badly as any of us. 'Perhaps you have patriotism;' patriotism, ha--a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing--an old fashioned piece of furniture that is of no use in the mind's household--an idea, a nothing--as great a foe to worldly thrift, as virginity to a goodly increase--'a cold companion, away with it'--a pretty thing enough, to talk about--to gull fools with--in theory beautiful, in practice useless. If, Sir, you have any of it we are truly sorry for you.
Necessity of obeying the voice of the people. And now, Sir, we are coming to the discussion of our rights, the rights and prerogatives of sovereignty, the sovereignty of the sovereign people. Be it known then that it is our sovereign will and pleasure that the loaves and fishes shall be immediately taken from the federalists, and given to us--fools that we were not to have put our first servant under oath to obey his masters, previous to his being engaged for such a length of time--you feel power, Sir, and will not forget right. Be it known as our sovereign pleasure, that it is right to forget--Finally--in a state of doubt and anxiety, we would state that now is with us the crisis.. and with you the crisis--We are ready for a revolt, and unless our sovereign pleasure is courted we will revolt--but if you will fall pell mell upon the federalists, and high, low, good, bad, rich, poor, drive them all from office, and set in a herd of us good democrats, we will support you.
Demons, we will shout your praises in verse and in prose—we will make you the greatest patriot, the greatest hero, the greatest statesman, the greatest philosopher, and in all respects the greatest man that ever was miraculously made great out of a little—then, Sir, we will live as merry as griggs, laugh and grow fat, you in office and we in office, till that old lover of equality, death, shall give us a call, when we will "go to our graves as to our graves."
Such are the feelings and language of the Demos about New-York and elsewhere, that come out through the leaky Watch Tower, whose Editor some years since grossly overrating his talents, left the occupation for which his powers capacitated him, and, having made, for the last time, one great hat he thought would completely hide his ears, began awkwardly to wield the pen in his ungraceful fore hoofs.
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Primary Topic
Mockery Of Democratic Republican Demands For Offices Under Jefferson
Stance / Tone
Satirical Ridicule Of Partisan Opportunism And Feigned Patriotism
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