Alexandria Gazette

London Police.—Shaving Extraordinary.—
A journeyman barber was brought before the
Lord Mayor, on Saturday, charged with having,
in a fit of drunkenness, threatened to assault
and shave his mistress dry.
The mistress, who keeps a shaving shop in
Petticoat Lane, stated that she employed two men
besides the defendant to do the business of the
shop, which had a very fair trade, considering
the general negligence of the neighborhood as
to the growth of unnecessary hair. Unfortunately,
the defendant's habits became offensive to the
customers. She had expostulated with him
frequently, for he was a skilful hand, but
remonstrance was useless. The customers began
to go to a rival establishment—and, to save
herself from ruin, she told him he must depart.
This sentence at once introduced him to a gin-
shop, where he took so copiously of the "cream
of the valley" that he besieged the shaving shop;
and, to the terror of the neighbors, proceeded to
the work, razor in hand, swearing that he would
shave his mistress, without the mercy of a taste
of soap and water.
The defendant—My Lord, it's all revenge.—
Missus has a grudge towards me, for she always
puts me in the rough work, and I'm blest if my
hand can stand it.
The Lord Mayor—What do you call the rough
work? I suppose you have to shave and cut
hair as the other men do?
The defendant—Like the other men! Lord
bless you, your worship, I've got to shave all
the Jews as comes to our shop out of mourning.
(Laughter.) It's no joke to go over a pair of
cheeks what no steel's touched for three months.
The mistress stated that those remarks were
a libel upon her character, and calculated to do
great injury to her shop.
The defendant—Only let me have fair play at
a face, and I defy Barbarossa; but I'm hanged if
I can make a horse's tail as smooth as a yard of
velvet in a couple of minutes. (Laughter.)—
Besides, please you, my lord, if there's a black-
smith or a coal-heaver as wants his face to be
gone over, why missus calls out to me, "Jack,
clap your suds upon this face." (Laughter.)
The Lord Mayor tried to reconcile the parties
but in vain. The defendant was discharged.—
He said he would try for employment at the
other end of the town.