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Literary
June 24, 1879
Staunton Spectator
Staunton, Virginia
What is this article about?
A series of witty, satirical aphorisms offering humorous observations on human nature, vices like laziness and pride, marriage, and contentment, concluding with a brief anecdote about a father interrupting his daughter's late-night conversation.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
Joshings.
Thare iz no sure kure for lazyness, but have known a seckond wife to hurry it sum.
Much haz been sed about Milk, but the best thing i hav ever seen on it-iz the kream.
Thare iz 2 things in this world for which we are never fully prepared, and that iz—twins.
Don't hurry things mi sweet friend, the best time to sett a hen—iz when the hen iz reddy.
Thare iz only one thing that kan be sed in favour ov tite boots—they make a man forget all his other sorrows.
The musketo iz born ov poor but industrious parents, but haz in hiz veins sum ov the best blood in the country.
Man was kreated a little lower than the angells, and he haz been a gitting a little lower ever since.
Employment iz the grate boon ov life a man with nothing to do iz not haff so interesting az a ripening turnip.
Yu kant do ennything fust rate with a flea on you—except sware, and fleas ant afraide ov that.
How kan yu expect to find two peo- ple in this world who are alike, when yu kant even find one who iz alike haff the time?
Pride iz a cheerless pashun, the pea- kok iz the proudest ov all the birds, and the most lonesum one too.
If thare ever iz a perfectly happy per- son found in this world, it will be the one who haz got but little, and dont want enny thing more.
Gueasing and lieing are fust cuzzing; the man who gits into the habit ov guessing at all things, will soon git into the hubit ov lieing about menny things.
"Why, papa," said a Market street girl to her father, as he sauntered into the parlor, away long in the night, when she and her Adolphus were conversing upon the ethics of the dust and Kindred topics, "why, papa, what are you looking for ?" "Oh, nothing, I just thought I'd get up to see the sun rise." Then the clock struck and the son rose and vanished and the old man went back to bed.
Thare iz no sure kure for lazyness, but have known a seckond wife to hurry it sum.
Much haz been sed about Milk, but the best thing i hav ever seen on it-iz the kream.
Thare iz 2 things in this world for which we are never fully prepared, and that iz—twins.
Don't hurry things mi sweet friend, the best time to sett a hen—iz when the hen iz reddy.
Thare iz only one thing that kan be sed in favour ov tite boots—they make a man forget all his other sorrows.
The musketo iz born ov poor but industrious parents, but haz in hiz veins sum ov the best blood in the country.
Man was kreated a little lower than the angells, and he haz been a gitting a little lower ever since.
Employment iz the grate boon ov life a man with nothing to do iz not haff so interesting az a ripening turnip.
Yu kant do ennything fust rate with a flea on you—except sware, and fleas ant afraide ov that.
How kan yu expect to find two peo- ple in this world who are alike, when yu kant even find one who iz alike haff the time?
Pride iz a cheerless pashun, the pea- kok iz the proudest ov all the birds, and the most lonesum one too.
If thare ever iz a perfectly happy per- son found in this world, it will be the one who haz got but little, and dont want enny thing more.
Gueasing and lieing are fust cuzzing; the man who gits into the habit ov guessing at all things, will soon git into the hubit ov lieing about menny things.
"Why, papa," said a Market street girl to her father, as he sauntered into the parlor, away long in the night, when she and her Adolphus were conversing upon the ethics of the dust and Kindred topics, "why, papa, what are you looking for ?" "Oh, nothing, I just thought I'd get up to see the sun rise." Then the clock struck and the son rose and vanished and the old man went back to bed.
What sub-type of article is it?
Satire
Essay
What themes does it cover?
Moral Virtue
Social Manners
What keywords are associated?
Humor
Aphorisms
Laziness
Pride
Marriage
Life Observations
Literary Details
Title
Joshings.
Key Lines
Thare Iz No Sure Kure For Lazyness, But Have Known A Seckond Wife To Hurry It Sum.
Man Was Kreated A Little Lower Than The Angells, And He Haz Been A Gitting A Little Lower Ever Since.
Pride Iz A Cheerless Pashun, The Pea Kok Iz The Proudest Ov All The Birds, And The Most Lonesum One Too.
If Thare Ever Iz A Perfectly Happy Per Son Found In This World, It Will Be The One Who Haz Got But Little, And Dont Want Enny Thing More.