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Story
November 27, 1900
The Silver Messenger
Challis, Custer County, Idaho
What is this article about?
Satirical commentary on railroad magnate Collis P. Huntington's teetotaler lifestyle, pitying him for forgoing gambling, hunting, and fishing despite his millions, asserting true enjoyment outweighs wealth.
Clipping
OCR Quality
95%
Excellent
Full Text
COLLIS P. HUNTINGTON.
Collis P. Huntington, the railroad millionaire, says that he "never won or lost a dollar on a horse race or any game of chance." Of course he didn't: he always wants a sure thing. There is no chance about his dice (they are always loaded). He plays no game except those in which he is sure to win and the other fellow is sure to lose. He would bet on a horse race if his horse was a good one and the opposing nag had only three legs.
He also said "that he never went hunting or fishing a day in his life."
Poor fellow, he is much to be pitied. He never had any genuine fun. What good is all his wealth if he don't play poker, run horses, fish for suckers or hunt jackrabbits?
We wouldn't begin to trade places with you, Collis. We wouldn't exchange our enjoyment of life for all your millions. You are very old. You are almost dead. You will shortly go to—well, somewhere, and leave all your millions behind you. It is just as well, too, for the gold might melt and the bank bills would be sure to burn.
Collis P. Huntington, the railroad millionaire, says that he "never won or lost a dollar on a horse race or any game of chance." Of course he didn't: he always wants a sure thing. There is no chance about his dice (they are always loaded). He plays no game except those in which he is sure to win and the other fellow is sure to lose. He would bet on a horse race if his horse was a good one and the opposing nag had only three legs.
He also said "that he never went hunting or fishing a day in his life."
Poor fellow, he is much to be pitied. He never had any genuine fun. What good is all his wealth if he don't play poker, run horses, fish for suckers or hunt jackrabbits?
We wouldn't begin to trade places with you, Collis. We wouldn't exchange our enjoyment of life for all your millions. You are very old. You are almost dead. You will shortly go to—well, somewhere, and leave all your millions behind you. It is just as well, too, for the gold might melt and the bank bills would be sure to burn.
What sub-type of article is it?
Biography
Curiosity
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
Moral Virtue
What keywords are associated?
Collis Huntington
Railroad Millionaire
No Gambling
Satirical Pity
Wealth Vs Enjoyment
What entities or persons were involved?
Collis P. Huntington
Story Details
Key Persons
Collis P. Huntington
Story Details
Collis P. Huntington claims he never gambled or hunted, portrayed satirically as missing out on life's fun despite his wealth, with the narrator preferring enjoyment over riches.