Daily Independent

It is neither more nor less than a
dramatic debauch."
The disengaged Heavy Man buried his
mustache in a beer mug for a moment.
and then continued:
"You are all familiar, of course, with
tales of people who go on tremendous
sprees every few months. These sprees
are lurid while they last, but once ended
the drunkard resumes his normal condi-
tion as a sober, respectable citizen. Well,
I have been out with a company whose
manager is subject to 'periodicals,' not
of intoxication, but of insane ambition
to 'run a show.' His name is F--, and he
accumulates the money he squanders on
the road as a Philadelphia real-estate
agent. Our party was got together
in this city by an old actor who
had become the owner of a play re-
sembling 'Zo Zo, the Magic Queen,' in its
details. Because of his long experience
behind the footlights the ancient Thes-
pian, who was both star and proprietor, put
his name in big letters on the bills and
added this quotation: 'In my time I
have done the State some service.' As
a result wherever we played during the
first week out the audiences and the
papers assumed that he was an ex-con-
vict who blazoned his shame for adver-
tising purposes. Business was very bad
and when we opened on Saturday night
at Nashua, N. H., only $17 had gone into
the box office We couldn't stay over
Sunday, pay hotel bills and get back to
New York on that and what little
was left of the star's capital, but our em-
ployer was full of resource. He ordered
eyery one to pack his luggage and be
ready to leave on the nine p m. train.
Then he bought a decayed fish and hired
a bootblack for a quarter to take it into
the gallery, and in the middle of the
second 'act throw it at the leading lady.
The fish was thrown. the curtain went
down, and the star stepped out to pro-
test against the 'outrage.' By the time
he had quit talking we were in the de-
pot. He joined us just as the train
started. When the audience went away
I don't know.
Well, in New York our employer met
F-- and dumped the whole outfit on him
-contracts, scenery actors and drama.
F-- decided on a Southern tour. and we
gradually worked down to the Gulf. not
playing to much business. but getting
salaries regularly, for awhile at least.
The crash came at a town about fifty
miles from Mobile. We got off the train
at three in the afternoon, and were met
by a delegation of citizens whose spokes-
man told us the only thing undecided
was whether we should be lynched or
simply tarred and feathered. Kettles
and ropes were both at hand, and, as our
hosts all carried arms, the prospect was
not a pleasant one. To say we were
aatonished but feebly expresses the sit-
uations. We had never been in the town
before, and could imagine no way by
which we could have incurred such de-
monstrative ill will. F-- managed to
get in a word or so and asked an ex-
planation. Then it came out that our
advance agent was running the jim-jams
a close race, and that, not content with
billing the town, he had gone out the
provious evening and covered the tomb-
stones and monuments in the Confederate
soldiers' cemetery with three-sheet
posters. That was why the people were
mad. They awoke to find the records of
their heroic dead plastored over with
gaudy pictures of young women in
tights. and they immediately knocked
in the head of a tar barrel and waited
for us. After a deal of talking we got
away, but they caught our advance agent
that night."

"What became of him?"
"I don't know. We never stopped to
inquire. The experience sobered us up,
and F took an account of stock. He
figured that he had dropped $1,500 and
decided to quit managerial business for
a while. He bought us tickets to New
York. sent us home and here we are."
- N. Y. Sun.