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Literary
August 28, 1841
Sunbury American And Shamokin Journal
Sunbury, Northumberland County, Pennsylvania
What is this article about?
A satirical prose sketch portraying a married couple's petty argument over contradictions, doors in a house, and a guest's coat color, highlighting their aggravating dynamic, from 'Sketches of Young Couples.'
Clipping
OCR Quality
98%
Excellent
Full Text
The Contradictory Couple.
"I do believe," said he, taking the spoon out of his glass and tossing it on the table, "that of all the obstinate, positive, wrong-headed creatures that ever was born, you are the most so, Charlotte."
"Certainly, certainly, have it your own way, pray. You see how much I contradict you," rejoins the lady.
"Of course, you didn't contradict me at dinner time, oh, no, not you!" says the gentleman.
"Yes, I did," says the lady.
"Oh, you did!" cries the gentleman; "you admit that?"
"If you call that contradiction, I do," the lady answers: "and I say again, Edward, that when you are wrong I will contradict you; I am not your slave."
"Not my slave!" repeats the gentleman, bitterly "and you still mean that in Blackburn's new house there are not more than fourteen doors, including the door of the wine cellar!"
"I mean to say," retorts the lady, beating time with her hair-brush on the palm of her hand, "that in that house there are fourteen doors, and no more."
By and bye the gentleman comes to a little, and passing his hand across his forehead, finally reseats himself in his former chair. There is a long silence, and this time the lady begins.
"I appealed to Mr. Jenkins, who sat next to me on the sofa, in the drawing room, during tea."
"Morgan, you mean," interrupted the gentleman.
"I do not mean any thing of the kind," answered the lady.
"Now, by all that is aggravating and impossible to bear!" cries the gentleman, clenching his hands and looking upwards in agony—"she is going to insist upon it that Morgan is Jenkins!"
"Do you take me to be a perfect fool?" exclaims the lady; "do you suppose I don't know one from the other? Do you suppose that I don't know the man with the blue coat was Mr. Jenkins?"
"Jenkins in a blue coat!" cries the gentleman with a groan; "Jenkins in a blue coat! a man who would suffer death rather than wear any thing but brown!"
"Do you dare to charge me with telling an untruth?" demands the lady, bursting into tears.
"I charge you, ma'am," retorts the gentleman starting up, "with being a contradiction, a monster of aggravation, a—a—a—Jenkins in a blue coat! What have I done that I should be doomed to bear such perpetual torments!"
—Sketches of Young Couples.
"I do believe," said he, taking the spoon out of his glass and tossing it on the table, "that of all the obstinate, positive, wrong-headed creatures that ever was born, you are the most so, Charlotte."
"Certainly, certainly, have it your own way, pray. You see how much I contradict you," rejoins the lady.
"Of course, you didn't contradict me at dinner time, oh, no, not you!" says the gentleman.
"Yes, I did," says the lady.
"Oh, you did!" cries the gentleman; "you admit that?"
"If you call that contradiction, I do," the lady answers: "and I say again, Edward, that when you are wrong I will contradict you; I am not your slave."
"Not my slave!" repeats the gentleman, bitterly "and you still mean that in Blackburn's new house there are not more than fourteen doors, including the door of the wine cellar!"
"I mean to say," retorts the lady, beating time with her hair-brush on the palm of her hand, "that in that house there are fourteen doors, and no more."
By and bye the gentleman comes to a little, and passing his hand across his forehead, finally reseats himself in his former chair. There is a long silence, and this time the lady begins.
"I appealed to Mr. Jenkins, who sat next to me on the sofa, in the drawing room, during tea."
"Morgan, you mean," interrupted the gentleman.
"I do not mean any thing of the kind," answered the lady.
"Now, by all that is aggravating and impossible to bear!" cries the gentleman, clenching his hands and looking upwards in agony—"she is going to insist upon it that Morgan is Jenkins!"
"Do you take me to be a perfect fool?" exclaims the lady; "do you suppose I don't know one from the other? Do you suppose that I don't know the man with the blue coat was Mr. Jenkins?"
"Jenkins in a blue coat!" cries the gentleman with a groan; "Jenkins in a blue coat! a man who would suffer death rather than wear any thing but brown!"
"Do you dare to charge me with telling an untruth?" demands the lady, bursting into tears.
"I charge you, ma'am," retorts the gentleman starting up, "with being a contradiction, a monster of aggravation, a—a—a—Jenkins in a blue coat! What have I done that I should be doomed to bear such perpetual torments!"
—Sketches of Young Couples.
What sub-type of article is it?
Prose Fiction
Satire
Dialogue
What themes does it cover?
Social Manners
What keywords are associated?
Contradictory Couple
Marital Bickering
Petty Arguments
Satirical Sketch
Social Satire
What entities or persons were involved?
Sketches Of Young Couples
Literary Details
Title
The Contradictory Couple.
Author
Sketches Of Young Couples
Key Lines
"I Do Believe," Said He, Taking The Spoon Out Of His Glass And Tossing It On The Table, "That Of All The Obstinate, Positive, Wrong Headed Creatures That Ever Was Born, You Are The Most So, Charlotte."
"If You Call That Contradiction, I Do," The Lady Answers: "And I Say Again, Edward, That When You Are Wrong I Will Contradict You; I Am Not Your Slave."
"Jenkins In A Blue Coat!" Cries The Gentleman With A Groan; "Jenkins In A Blue Coat! A Man Who Would Suffer Death Rather Than Wear Any Thing But Brown!"
"I Charge You, Ma'am," Retorts The Gentleman Starting Up, "With Being A Contradiction, A Monster Of Aggravation, A—A—A—Jenkins In A Blue Coat! What Have I Done That I Should Be Doomed To Bear Such Perpetual Torments!"